All in my life, a recurring theme has always happened. That I am the one always punished at my expense over the offenses by others caused onto me.

It is always online and offline and it’s such bullshit. I’ve gotten banned multiple times, but it was because of someone else and I simply retaliated. I’ve gotten penalized at work or other things IRL over matters in which the scales weighed towards the other who committed the offense or was the one instigating but the conclusion always fell onto me.

I’ve gotten singled out, I’ve gotten cameras put on me, I’ve gotten prioritized, I’ve gotten shifted here and there. I was not born a violent, antagonizing and instigating person.

But overtime? As these kinds of things piled on and on and on, it has coursed me to be that way, even when I didn’t want to. Because what good is being a pacifist, passive and peacemaker when you’re going to be faulted anyways and even if you have gone lengths to prove your innocence or go through the appropriate channels of authority to do the right thing and you’re going to be punished anyways. What’s the point?