Reductress is a hell of a website.
If The Onion is an actually serious journalist website, this will be their type of headline. They’ll fully embrace sensationalist headline without being clickbait.
Help, now my manboobs have been blated off, everything is covered in blood and human fat tissue, and also I’m bleeding out!
I could not BELIEVE number 7!!
Well
Reference is from the Dirty Harry remake, Dirty Bastard.
Free top surgery if I read?
Damn, thats a real hot finance tip
HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES HATE THIS ONE SIMPLE TRICK! 😱😱😱
Ok but what happened?
She cooked
I’m jacked! Jacked to the TITS!
smoove off
Ow my tits!
This really smashed my dick with a hydraulic press
And then ultimate-goatse my butthole with the jaws of life.
But then the next step absolutely sounded by urethra with Uralmash-15000 deep bore drill.
The final step really rustled my jimmies.
😱
Poor Harambe. *unzips*
Vot de fok!
Holy shit an in the wild Hydraulic Press Channel “Vot De Fok” reference on a random Sunday evening!
This short thread following the OPs shitpost got me good. Thanks for the uncontrollable 60 seconds of laughter!
It some kind ov exploded!
(I think that was from his folding paper vid? The line stuck with me.)
(Edit: yep.)
We dont use that phrase “blow your tits off” nearly enough. :)
Because it’s soooooo 2015
What happens if you don’t have tits? Or you do have tits, but are in another room when it’s baking?
1, you’ll grow DDs just so they can blow off. 2, distance is irrelevant, there is no escaping the clickbait cup crumping curse.
I mean, what happens if you don’t have a left arm and try to chop it off with an axe?
I wouldn’t have any arms left
So it was you lurking in the forest. I knew someone was watching me when I tried to do that. Why are axes so heavy?
