WASHINGTON—Stressing that he was prepared to remain in the role for as long as necessary, President Donald Trump claimed Monday that he would marry Venezuelan first lady Cilia Adela Flores de Maduro.
“Until we can find a suitable long-term replacement, I’ll be married to Mrs. Maduro,” Trump said in a news conference in which he repeatedly insisted his position as Flores de Maduro’s temporary spouse would not interfere with his current obligations to Melania Trump.
“Cilia is a woman with tremendous potential who’s been hampered for too long because of a corrupt and illegitimate husband. So I’m going to step in as her dearly beloved for the foreseeable future while we figure out a way to give her a proper wedding day.”
Trump added that his planned honeymoon with the Venezuelan first lady would not cost the American taxpayer “a single cent” because of the involvement of domestic oil companies.
So, after he’s cleared out all of her assets.
The way I know this is satire is that Maduros wife is way to old for trump.
Also, Trump has probably already pre-ordered his next wife considering how old the current one is… she hardly looks like his daughter anymore.
That’s the chance you take when marrying a pedo.
More believable if he took their daughter
The Onion was falling behind reality recently, but this is pretty good. It’s not easy finding that line between almost believable and clearly satire.
