• blady_blah@lemmy.world
    332·
    12 hours ago

    I remember being lonely, emotionally starved, and deeply depressed and dreaming of having someone to share my life with. Now my wife is sleeping next to me with my kids in their bedrooms. In a moment I’ll put my phone down and roll over and snuggle in next to her and grab her boobs.

    This is and has been better than I ever dreamed.

      • blady_blah@lemmy.world
        4·
        35 minutes ago

        The only advice that I can give is to force yourself to try. I’m a naturally introverted person but I pushed myself get outside my comfort zone again and again. When I asked my future wife out on a date, I didn’t think I could do it in person, so I asked her out over email. I figured she was out of my league (and she was)… but I told myself “it’s better to ask and get a ‘no’ than never ask and always wonder.” Be ready for the pain of rejection, but force yourself to do it anyway.

        However I don’t know you and the mountains you face. They are likely different from mine and require a different path. Good luck finding your path and getting to the second part of the comment.

  • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    4 hours ago

    I still want what I currently have, but I never wanted ONLY what I currently have.

    But, I got old and tired, and have settled for what I’ve been able to get, because fuck it.

    None of this means I’m not happy, but like Calvin said, “Things could be a whole lot better, too!”

  • ChaoAmber@feddit.ukOP
    18·
    15 hours ago

    I am so fortunate to have a roof over my head. Hot water. Food in my pantry. Gas in my car.

    • dandelion (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      13·
      13 hours ago

      for me the ones that come to mind: able to walk (and run), not stuck under strict bed rest for days, not in excruciating pain, able to sleep at night, not so fatigued I don’t want to get out of bed, not wanting to die, not having PTSD nightmares

      there are many others - while it really seems like a stupid exercise, when I was really suffering mentally, I found contemplating times when I was in much worse pain or stress and focusing in what ways I was not currently in pain or stressed really did help me feel a kind of happiness and gratitude that improved my overall mood.

      usually I just ignore the way I feel when I’m not in pain, but if I actually sit and think about what it feels like to be content and have ease with my body in contrast with how my body feels when I’m sick or injured, I can actually connect with a pleasurable feeling of contentedness that I can then better recognize and enjoy more frequently.

      I would do this for like 30 minutes once a day, usually in the morning before I got out of bed - just trying to really pay attention to the comfort, bodily ease, happiness, etc. that I felt in that moment, or remembering moments when I felt those ways, and then once I sort of connected with those feelings enough that I was really feeling them in a sustained way, then I would re-iterate my intention to cultivate those feelings in my life in the future, and that I desire this kind of stuff for everyone - everyone deserves to be healthy, happy, content, etc. Sometimes I had to imagine myself as a stranger to do this - I find it easier to feel good-will towards strangers than myself, but a future me is admittedly a stranger to me - and just as deserving of happiness.

      All this said, I don’t want to imply happiness is always a choice, but I have been surprised at how well “thinking” as a tool has worked at providing some relief (even if it’s ultimately a bandaid until you can get through the hard times and hopefully find ourself in better circumstances).

  • starlinguk@lemmy.world
    32·
    11 hours ago

    Divorced, renting an apartment for three times what my mortgage used to be, chronically ill, unable to work and no hope of a decent pension? Can’t remember wanting that.