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Nero@sopuli.xyz to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

Trump Reflexively Asks Michael Cohen To Silence Michael Cohen

www.theonion.com

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Trump Reflexively Asks Michael Cohen To Silence Michael Cohen

www.theonion.com

Nero@sopuli.xyz to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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NEW YORK—During a brief recess from his ex-attorney’s testimony regarding hush money payments made shortly before the 2016 election, former President Donald Trump reflexively cornered Michael Cohen and asked him for help silencing Michael Cohen, courtroom sources confirmed Monday. “Listen, Michael, this guy Cohen is getting to be a real problem, and your help taking care of him would be very much appreciated,” said Trump, insisting to his former consigliere that money was no object and there would be “plenty” in the war chest from an upcoming campaign fundraiser in Minnesota. “Some of the stuff this prick knows would be very, very bad if it got out. He’s got tapes, business records. So, whatever you need. I’ll get it to you. And if you have to shake him up a little, that’s okay, too.” At press time, sources reported Cohen had reluctantly agreed to hire someone to threaten his own family in order to ensure his cooperation.
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  • VulKendov@reddthat.com
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    1 year ago

    Not gonna lie, this was a tasty onion.

    • TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Post 2020 vibe:

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