I ain’t seent nuthin and I ain’t heard shit.

Let’s just promise that if either one of us figures out a solution to our trust issues we let the other one know the secret.

In a weird way I’m glad to hear there are other people with the same predicament I have. Until you nobody has ever really seemed to understand what I’m talking about. So while it still sucks at least I know I’m not the only person who has been unable to cross that line.

Thanks for letting me have the mini trauma dump. I hope you have a good day.

Pretty much all the racing games from my childhood. I remember them having super realistic grip and aerodynamics, but playing them again compared to even sorta SIM modern racing games today is just night and day.

I will blame my 1000+ hours in beamNG for some of that. Once you have seen super detailed soft body physics it’s hard to play anything that doesn’t have it. Wreckfest 1 had a decent hybrid soft/ridged system that worked for that game. Seems the second game that just dropped on early access improves on it some, but I’m gonna wait for the full release before I pull the trigger on that one.

Just general melancholy.

I have had severe trust issues my entire life which has led me to being very alone. I have gone to many many many therapists and not a single one has ever been able to tell me something I don’t already know.

I know why I got this way. I know how it manifests. I understand where it infects my relationships and how it effects others.

No matter what I do I cannot fully let anyone in. Obviously I trust people to varying degrees in my life, but even those closest to me (Mother/Father) I do not trust implicitly.

People say things like “you just have to trust people again” which feels akin to telling depressed people to “just be happy” again.

Every time someone gets close to me I lock down and keep them at arms length. I was explaining it to one of my exes recently. She is probably someone I trust the most and I told her it’s like doing a bellyflop. I am all aboard the trust train and then right before impact I flinch involuntarily. I can’t stop myself. No matter how hard I try I just cannot relinquish control and I end up stopping people short.

Another analogy I have used is that there is a wall. Everyone I have ever met or known is outside the wall. Including me. I don’t even trust myself entirely. Some people are allowed closer to the wall. Very few people can even lean up against that wall but nobody has been allowed over that wall as long as I can remember.

Anyways I once again hurt someone recently because of my inability to trust and I felt really bad about it. I have a lot of self hatred and anger directed at myself because of it.

What’s confusing to me is that I am actually an unbelievably open book with anyone. Anyone can ask me any question about anything in my life and I will answer it honestly if they want me to. I can’t get this book any more open… And yet I can’t trust anyone fully.

So I’m 32 now and I haven’t had a serious relationship since before covid. I have had a few dates and FWB situations since then, but they always get emotionally attached and I end up having to end things because I know that path leads nowhere and I don’t want them wasting their time and energy on a guy that’s never going to let them in.

I’m feeling a little better about everything today than yesterday but still pretty shitty today. Just trying not to eat away my sadness like I want to.

Parks and Rec. They spend like a whole season trying to convince you that April hated Andy forever and it just didn’t need to go on that long. They are way funnier as a couple for the rest of the show and they could have just gotten there in an episode two instead of wasting a whole season with her dating that Spanish guy that Andy ends up playing music with anyway.

Even on rewatches those scenes just feel forced and stupid. Still love the show though.

I can’t wait to ruin this for every single person I know going forward. Thanks!

https://maps.everytownresearch.org/navigator/states.html?dataset=background_checks&states=NY

Especially when almost half of US states already require background checks.

Anyone who has spent any amount of time around firearm owners and those groups of people would laugh in your face if you tried to tell them that 90% of Americans think there should be more gun laws.

The graphic seems to be cherry picking data to make it seem like the majority of Americans already have progressive ideals so obviously they should just be progressives.

America is a center right nation. The majority of Americans are somewhere between center and right of center. While many of them might agree with one or two of those things on the image we all know that it’s not gonna be popular across the board.

What a great fucking idea. Let’s take a physical limited resource mineral and trade it for an untraceable and unregulated made up currency.

Holy shit I’m gonna have a stroke.

And I’ll spin the wheel every fuckin time. Give me the bottle.

All of that so a bunch of 1s and 0s can show me boobs whenever I want. Man the human race is wild.

I’m calling BS on most of these numbers.

The top 3 are already wrong so I can only hazard a guess that the rest are also wrong.

https://news.gallup.com/poll/1576/abortion.aspx

https://news.gallup.com/poll/264932/percentage-americans-own-guns.aspx

https://news.gallup.com/poll/513623/majority-continues-favor-stricter-gun-laws.aspx

I’m not even going to bother looking at the rest because the top 3 were already wrong.

The graphic is either poorly researched or intentionally misleading and either way I don’t care for it.

I fuckin miss Kimi. Max is slowly turning into him, but I don’t know if anyone else will ever be able to reach Kimi levels of not giving a shit ever again.

I hope Robin does well and we can have another Räikkönen in the paddock one day.

Crazy that it’s never happened before. That would be a super entertaining way to win a championship. Just always lurking behind the race winners slowly stacking those points as they take turns taking each other out lol

Yeah McLaren is gonna have a real Mercedes 2016 on their hands if they aren’t careful with those two. Idk if either of them will listen to them order if push comes to shove. Clearly Piastri is quite close to Norris in terms of pace. I think if it is only McLaren fighting in the championship this year it’ll be whoever can be more consistent that’s going to win.

I mean you never know. Maybe it’ll only take them a month to give Max a car capable of being at the front again.

At the end of the day I just want good racing and if everyone packs up and turns to 2026 by race 3 then the season is a gonna be a snore while McLaren fuck off into the lead each race.

I’m torn between my enjoyment of close racing and my hopes that Max can somehow become the first guy to get not only 8 championships but also 8 championships in a row.

I know that’s basically a pipe dream right now given the car and the lack of a supporting second driver at red bull right now, but a man can dream

Give the guy at least a few more races good lord. Even Albon and Gasly got quite a few changes to show they were getting better. I still think red bull fucked up by dropping Albon when they did. He was trending upwards and then Hamilton crushed him. I think had they stuck by him he would have been a solid second driver this whole time.

Personally I think that Redbull should divert all their attention to 26 so they can try to nail the 2026 regs. If they fuck those up Max is for sure going to leave at the end of his contract and then what will they have?

They lost Adrian Newey already. They lost Honda.

If they lose Max they are going to have a bunch of drivers piling up that can’t seem to drive the car and nothing to show for it.

Gex should have cursed whenever you took damage for sure.

I’m not a music student anymore but growing up my mom used to call my snare drum “the headache cylinder”.

She loved that I was playing drums, but she hated hearing them lol.