• apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.orgEnglish
    10·
    3 months ago

    I’m part of the kink community, and it drives me up the wall when people use these terms interchangeably. Makes it so much harder than it needs to be to communicate

    • Lime Buzz (fae/she)@beehaw.orgEnglish
      11·
      3 months ago

      Eh, so are we and it doesn’t bother us, it has a slightly different meaning in my relationships with others. But you do you.

        • Lime Buzz (fae/she)@beehaw.orgEnglish
          1·
          3 months ago

          Well, since I’m pretty Ace, that doesn’t come up usually. But it goes something like this in our relationships: A top is the person doing something and the bottom is the person having something done to them, but it doesn’t exactly equate to a submissive or a dominant because those are slightly different concepts. So a submissive could still be a top at least temporarily, because the dominant wanted it, or the submissive felt like they could fit that role, even though they are not inherently a dominant.

          Also there’s middles who top another person because a dominant told them to.

          Edit: It gets messy when you throw switches and versatiles into the mix too because often they can’t have any fixed roles.