Like “sparkly cis” (my own term?) or something like that? At first, I started using the pronouns he/him. Then, when I realized that I actually don’t identify as a man and that it didn’t feel right, I started switching to they/them, as I felt like neither a man nor a woman and didn’t feel strongly about gender either way.
Well, I’m fully aware that what’s in one’s pants is NOT equivalent to their gender, but the thing is: I don’t really want a penis. I don’t want both. I really want neither, maybe just a hole, but the vagina I have is fine to me because it’s not a penis.
I’m AFAB and identify with feminine terms and neutral terms, like the pronouns she/they. If I’m dating someone, I want to be referred to as “partner” or “girlfriend” but not “boyfriend”. Not “man”, “dude”, or “bro”, though I also see those as gender-neutral, so I’m more okay with those than “boyfriend”.
“Homie” or “friend” is my favorite, though. I don’t even mind just “person”, but I prefer homie or friend like I said.
I feel impostor syndrome or whatever though and it feels like I’m just a cis woman with extra steps or “spicy/sparkly cis”.
Nobody is really anything except the matter and energy that make them up. Labels are tools humans use to try to categorize things and make meaning when there is none.
Given that you aren’t particularly drawn to most gendered terms, specifically ones that aren’t gender-neutral enough, consider exploring the label “agender” for yourself. You could try it on and see what fits.
Sometimes a more blanket term like “queer” feels better to people.
A note that we can’t wrap our entire being into a single word; there’s too much of it to fit, and we’re bound to over-pour the container. It can be more helpful to consider them as tags or attributes, not containers.