Not sure if NSFW. Yes, maybe. It’s about physical contact and sex. So if you don’t want that, please skip this post.
My question would be: My libido and arousal dissipate whenever I’m in physical contact with my partner for too long. Not sex, just laying close to each other. Not at first. It takes a while. It feels like stress is building up inside me.
Whenever we get close, a clock starts ticking. Over time ny skin gets less sensitive - I can feel touches but it doesn’t feel good anymore. My jaw gets tense. Headaches start. Arousal dissipates. My head says: I like it being close to my partner. But my body just slams the door shut and shouts: nope, I’m out.
I don’t think this is about performance anxiety or lack of communication.
I really would like to change this. But I don’t know how.
Anyone here who knows this and would be ready to share his/ her own experience and how to successfully mitigate it?
Like the others have said, you should talk to a professional about that.
That being said, if you are asking because you might not be able to afford one.
I had that same problem. Don’t do what I did, I just drank booze to power through because I really liked them and really wanted them to like me.
No booze. Do not force myself through it. Noted. Thank you. :)
I did talk to a therapist about it. Her advice was: Patience. Communication.
I guess there is no shortcut if I need to find my way first. 🤷♀️
This needs to be addressed by professionals. Sensory issues are one thing, it’s how we respond to them that can be a problem.
Dissociation is a defense mechanism developed from traumatic events. Sometimes these things take some pretty serious therapy and careful medicine management to overcome.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is often required, combined with Accelerated Resolution Therapy, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. For the sensory issue itself, Occupational Therapists are trained in it specifically.
This needs to be addressed by professionals. Sensory issues are one thing, it’s how we respond to them that can be a problem.
Ok
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is often required, combined with Accelerated Resolution Therapy, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. For the sensory issue itself, Occupational Therapists are trained in it specifically.
That’s a starting point. Thank you! I will look into these therapy forms. Occupational therapists, good idea.
traumatic event
I’m not sure. I wouldn’t know there is one. Would you say, that sensory overload or other autistic traits can be ruled out as the reason? I mean, that could be a good thing, since trauma can be worked with in therapy.
For dissociation? No, not entirely, hence the need for professional evaluation. Like I said it is a defense mechanism.
But trauma can come in a lot of forms. Medical, violent, sexual, emotional, neglect etc.
The only person that will ever give you the vetted proper advice is a doctor with an expertise on supportive therapy.
Talk to a couples counselor or a therapist.
Dont get advice from random dumbasses on the internet that act like they are an authority or an expert because that’s incredibly stupid.
Indeed. There are not many professional therapists on the internet, you are correct. I was looking for advice from other people on the spectrum who have to deal with the same things.
Thank you for your friendly warning. Maybe this community is the wrong space for this?
I’ve dealt with this and my advice is to seek couples counseling.
Regardless of where you ask your question, a couples counselor or an individual therapist is the only resource you should listen to.
