For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss—a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.
thanks, today i learned :
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (BLFC) was a tongue-in-cheek contest, held annually and sponsored by the English Department of San José State University in San Jose, California until 2025. Entrants were invited “to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels” – that is, one which was deliberately bad.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulwer-Lytton_Fiction_Contest
Seconds passed, then minutes more. Hours even: that’s 2,4,6,8 and so on. She waited with a baited breath, ensnaring precious oxygen into her lungs with reckless abandon. If air was money, she’d be sniffing every fart like it’s rent. That’s not what she did though. So she waited.
Her lips quivered as his eyebrows quivered. She looked at him like a dog staring at a ham.
I cannot read this without hearing Leslie Nielsen’s voice.
My mind went to Liam Neeson
I heard that he’s riddled with aids.
It’s a pale imitation.
“Like a blind man at an orgy … I was going to have to feel my way through” - Frank Drebin
Top shelf.
My favorite of all time and winner of the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
I need mouthwash after reading this.
thanks, today i learned :
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (BLFC) was a tongue-in-cheek contest, held annually and sponsored by the English Department of San José State University in San Jose, California until 2025. Entrants were invited “to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels” – that is, one which was deliberately bad. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulwer-Lytton_Fiction_Contest
Seconds passed, then minutes more. Hours even: that’s 2,4,6,8 and so on. She waited with a baited breath, ensnaring precious oxygen into her lungs with reckless abandon. If air was money, she’d be sniffing every fart like it’s rent. That’s not what she did though. So she waited.
You should have entered the Lython contest