• formergijoe@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    “And I woke up and went to go piss. And… GOD told me ‘look at your phone and it’ll say 4 am.’ And I looked at my phone and, sure enough, 4am. Then God said ‘now count 16 slowly, and it’ll be 4:01 and you will finish pissing.’ And so I started counting slowly… 1. 2. 3. 4. 5… Alex death cough 6. 7. 8. 2nd Alex death cough 9 10 11 12… 13 14… 15. 16. Boom! 4:01. And then I say to God, CRYING, because of God’s brilliance, ‘I know you’re trying to tell me something. What do you want me to do!’ And then God tells me, ‘buy goblinlove.com.’”

    -Alex Jones probably