Question for everyone who can relate to OP: is your life fulfilling in areas that don’t involve consumerism/sensorial pleasure and have you reached some of the expected life milestones for your age and sex?
In some ways, yes. At 36, I have a wife and kids whom I love and enjoy. I’m a very lucky man in that respect. During my 20’s and my first (God awful) marriage, I resigned myself to the idea that I would never have a family.
My job is not particularly fulfilling. In fact, when asked in interviews which parts of my career I’ve enjoyed most my answer is, without hesitation, “the jobs I didn’t get paid for.” Volunteering for things that had a meaningful impact on people’s lives has always been very satisfying. Sadly, I haven’t had time to do much of that in recent years.
In my experience, there is a lot of truth in the statement, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
I hope to get back to doing more volunteer work when my younger kids are a little bigger.
I’m a bachelor with a lucrative career, which has resulted in a good amount of free time and funny money. I treat my nostalgia collections like an archive and get a great deal of enjoyment from tending to them. I also have a handful of other hobbies that are intermingled or separate.
The only typical milestone I feel like I skipped was homeownership, because I lived like a vagabond a good deal of my adult life.
Right now the only thing I genuinely feel is missing that would increase my happiness, is an exercise routine.
Right now the only thing I genuinely feel is missing that would increase my happiness, is an exercise routine.
I’ll put in a plug for cycling. You can nerd out over the latest bike gear, restore vintage bikes, or just pay the nice folks at your local bike shop to set you up and focus on the riding, it’s up to you!
You can also ride “unplugged,” or you can measure speed, cadence, heart rate, even power output (if you spend $$$)—again, something for everyone!
First of all, congrats! But what about the wife and kids, you know, childrearing and community building, you got any plans regarding that? Or are you still too young (in that case, double congrats lol) to be thinking about these things?
I’m not a spring chicken anymore, let’s just put it that way.
I’ve never wanted children. I also realized a handful of years ago, that I’m happier and healthier when I’m not in long-term romantic relationships. I’ve got friends, immediate family in neighboring cities, and two cats. That’s more than enough company for me.
I’m happily married (for the second time), and have a decent job that no longer requires back breaking manual labour that enables me to clock off at 4pm and fuck off home where I don’t have to think about. I have a grown up kid who’s just graduated with a law degree and is forging his own path in life. All things considered, I’m pretty chill. I try to take a more adult, considered view on things that affect me.
I don’t own my home, because my wife isn’t able to earn as much, so we can’t get a mortgage, but I’ve kind of made peace with that.
And I’ve accrued some of the toys I couldn’t afford when I was younger. I have a collection of computers that I can tinker with, an an iPod that I love.
Question for everyone who can relate to OP: is your life fulfilling in areas that don’t involve consumerism/sensorial pleasure and have you reached some of the expected life milestones for your age and sex?
In some ways, yes. At 36, I have a wife and kids whom I love and enjoy. I’m a very lucky man in that respect. During my 20’s and my first (God awful) marriage, I resigned myself to the idea that I would never have a family.
My job is not particularly fulfilling. In fact, when asked in interviews which parts of my career I’ve enjoyed most my answer is, without hesitation, “the jobs I didn’t get paid for.” Volunteering for things that had a meaningful impact on people’s lives has always been very satisfying. Sadly, I haven’t had time to do much of that in recent years. In my experience, there is a lot of truth in the statement, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” I hope to get back to doing more volunteer work when my younger kids are a little bigger.
Lovely post, lovely perspective. ❤️
OP here.
I’m a bachelor with a lucrative career, which has resulted in a good amount of free time and funny money. I treat my nostalgia collections like an archive and get a great deal of enjoyment from tending to them. I also have a handful of other hobbies that are intermingled or separate.
The only typical milestone I feel like I skipped was homeownership, because I lived like a vagabond a good deal of my adult life.
Right now the only thing I genuinely feel is missing that would increase my happiness, is an exercise routine.
I’ll put in a plug for cycling. You can nerd out over the latest bike gear, restore vintage bikes, or just pay the nice folks at your local bike shop to set you up and focus on the riding, it’s up to you!
You can also ride “unplugged,” or you can measure speed, cadence, heart rate, even power output (if you spend $$$)—again, something for everyone!
Good luck!
I don’t know, I’m not sure I wanna be biking around town with something in my ass.
The cadence and heart rate sensors are usually not inserted into the body. The issue could also be that you need a different type of seat.
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First of all, congrats! But what about the wife and kids, you know, childrearing and community building, you got any plans regarding that? Or are you still too young (in that case, double congrats lol) to be thinking about these things?
I’m not a spring chicken anymore, let’s just put it that way.
I’ve never wanted children. I also realized a handful of years ago, that I’m happier and healthier when I’m not in long-term romantic relationships. I’ve got friends, immediate family in neighboring cities, and two cats. That’s more than enough company for me.
To each their own. NGL, I wish I had a bit more disposable income to put into some of my hobbies… but I’m happy some of us can. 👍
45yo here, and yeah, kinda.
I’m happily married (for the second time), and have a decent job that no longer requires back breaking manual labour that enables me to clock off at 4pm and fuck off home where I don’t have to think about. I have a grown up kid who’s just graduated with a law degree and is forging his own path in life. All things considered, I’m pretty chill. I try to take a more adult, considered view on things that affect me.
I don’t own my home, because my wife isn’t able to earn as much, so we can’t get a mortgage, but I’ve kind of made peace with that.
And I’ve accrued some of the toys I couldn’t afford when I was younger. I have a collection of computers that I can tinker with, an an iPod that I love.
That’s pretty cool, NGL, I also love my gadgets. 👍