i don’t ever dress fancy. i am not going to falsely advertise myself. not everyone is an amoral manipulator seeking to optimize their image. i don’t own a suit and haven’t worn one in 15 years. i don’t have a ‘projected self’ either. I am what i am, unlike the women who want to date me, who are often liars and fakers.
lying to people is a shitty way to date. i’d know. most of my exes were liars who thought lying to me was totally cool because i was a ‘stupid man’ and they ‘knew better’.
I think people have a hard time grasping just how off “dressing up” feels for some people. Like I recognize that I look pretty good when I do, but the farthest I’ve went is a dress shirt+suit jacket and that already felt like absolutely so not me. Putting pictures like that up to, essentially, advertise myself would feel extremely dishonest.
It doesn’t make me off, it’s just not part of my lifestyle. I actually would like going to fancy restaurants and dressing up, but on rare occasional, not every week/day. And the ‘dressiest’ I get is business causal. I’ve never in my life been to a restaurant that required a jacket, for example. I only ever wore suits for weddings and funerals, as an adult and I haven’t had one of those in 15 years.
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i don’t ever dress fancy. i am not going to falsely advertise myself. not everyone is an amoral manipulator seeking to optimize their image. i don’t own a suit and haven’t worn one in 15 years. i don’t have a ‘projected self’ either. I am what i am, unlike the women who want to date me, who are often liars and fakers.
lying to people is a shitty way to date. i’d know. most of my exes were liars who thought lying to me was totally cool because i was a ‘stupid man’ and they ‘knew better’.
I wouldn’t categorize showing a picture of yourself dressed up as “amoral manipulation”. You’re certainly free to hold that view.
I’m sorry you’ve had these difficult relationships in the past.
presenting a false image of who you are is manipulative.
I think people have a hard time grasping just how off “dressing up” feels for some people. Like I recognize that I look pretty good when I do, but the farthest I’ve went is a dress shirt+suit jacket and that already felt like absolutely so not me. Putting pictures like that up to, essentially, advertise myself would feel extremely dishonest.
I’m guessing it’s similar for you.
It doesn’t make me off, it’s just not part of my lifestyle. I actually would like going to fancy restaurants and dressing up, but on rare occasional, not every week/day. And the ‘dressiest’ I get is business causal. I’ve never in my life been to a restaurant that required a jacket, for example. I only ever wore suits for weddings and funerals, as an adult and I haven’t had one of those in 15 years.