I think you have to ask yourself, is it fair to your future child to have their parent lie about who they are? Do you really want to teach your kid that that should suppress their identity and be dishonest with those closest to them?
You also shouldn’t assume that you will be able to keep things together if you try to play “father.” The crushing pressure of living a lie is easy to underestimate, and you might end up transitioning anyways. If that does break up the marriage, the fallout will not be felt by just the two of you, but the kid as well.
Children are a huge commitment and an even more important responsibility. You’re literally building a person, and that cannot be taken lightly. I think keeping up a facade for a partner is bad enough, but bringing in an even more vulnerable person is borderline inexcusable. If there are any unmitigated reservations about having a kid, you shouldn’t have it.
I can confirm this. I have an agender parent who still thinks she’s a cis woman, and she fucked us up so bad one of us died. She has gone her whole life not knowing what a gender is, and teaching her kids the same.
I think you have to ask yourself, is it fair to your future child to have their parent lie about who they are? Do you really want to teach your kid that that should suppress their identity and be dishonest with those closest to them?
You also shouldn’t assume that you will be able to keep things together if you try to play “father.” The crushing pressure of living a lie is easy to underestimate, and you might end up transitioning anyways. If that does break up the marriage, the fallout will not be felt by just the two of you, but the kid as well.
Children are a huge commitment and an even more important responsibility. You’re literally building a person, and that cannot be taken lightly. I think keeping up a facade for a partner is bad enough, but bringing in an even more vulnerable person is borderline inexcusable. If there are any unmitigated reservations about having a kid, you shouldn’t have it.
I can confirm this. I have an agender parent who still thinks she’s a cis woman, and she fucked us up so bad one of us died. She has gone her whole life not knowing what a gender is, and teaching her kids the same.
Parents! Do not be eggs!