It sucks. I hate it. And I hate that I have no other choice.

I thought I passed pretty well and for a good bit now, and there where no indications that I didn’t. I’ve been on HRT for over 1.5 years now and it has done a lot too.

Yet lately, especially at work, the misgendering has been getting worse and worse. Both from colleagues that knew me from back then and colleagues that are relatively new.

Why… How… What changed… I don’t get it. What is that people actually think about me. I know what other people think of me doesn’t change who I am but it’s still just such a punch in the face every time.

Why couldn’t it all just be different… Why could I not have been born the way I want to.

Edit: I don’t want to be trans, I don’t want to hold the trans label and I don’t even want anyone to remotely think about that. Not because I’m ashamed of it, just because I just want to live a normal fucking life the way I want to live.

  • hzl@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    9·
    23 days ago

    Basically Hegelian dialectics. The identity of those in power is dictated by their contrast with those without power, but this means that the actual power over that identity lies in those they cast as lesser than themselves. It’s why Fox News is always freaking out and stirring shit about something like Bad Bunny doing a half-time show in Spanish but they don’t blink at Trump posting racist memes and openly calling the country a garbage fire.

    Their privilege is challenged by any empowering action from those who pay the cost of that inequality, but literal disgusting behavior by those who share that privilege doesn’t threaten anything they care about. Which, paradoxically, shows exactly what needs doing to upend their dominance. Disregarding and subverting their status quo is the most powerful thing you can do to overturn the whole mess.

    So a self-possesed and unashamed trans person who is willing to stand up and act as though they’re worthy of respect is terrifying. The backlash means we’re getting somewhere, and it shows the cracks in their armor. That’s why pride matters, and why pride is a target.