By the way this is the second time this has happend.
You know it sucks because I have been feeling suicidal lately and I’ve been seriously thinking about it. This just makes me want to let go even more.
Fuck the world, Fuck people like this. I don’t even feel safe walking outside because I might get attacked or harassed by some right wing asshole who hates me because of who I am. What the fuck is happening. Why do I deserve this? Why? Why? Why?!! I’ve been crying about this soo much my throat is raw and I can barely cry anymore. It’s so unfair. Just because I was born a boy people treat me so horribly. People want to kill me. People want me to die. Well I want to die. I would rather die than live in a world like this. Fuck me, fuck my life. I wish I was never fucking born. FUUUUUCK!
Edit: I’m going to go cry quietly under my bed, it’s the place I feel safest right now.
Update: Thank you for everyone who commented with support. I feel slightly better. At least in regards to what happened. These are hard times and it’s hard not to feel hopeless from what I’ve seen and heard IRL but at the very least you all have made me feel like it might be worth it to try. I hope there will one day be a day when people like us don’t face such hell just for existing.
I’m weak and small, I was even without HRT. If I started a fight with someone, even someone average male strength and size, they could kill me easily and I would be powerless to stop them. Someone did try to kill me once actually, 3 months ago. He tried to strangle me because he thought I looked at his kids, he only let go of me because a woman saw him doing it and screamed. He droppped me and ran so quick I barely saw him running away. I don’t know if he was caught. I know I still have nightmares about being strangled, while he yelled at me saying I’m a child molester, and his horrible breath which smelled of pasta sauce.
Live to spite the bastards, there evil and you just trying to exist which is ritghteous. I wish there were more peoeple in the world who would protect instead of hurt. But that’s the better world were fighting for I guess.
is this a Tyler James Robinson appreciation post? (\s)
If I ever meet you in real life, if you feel comfy with that, go dress the way you want, even if that doesn’t “seem” to pass – and then I’m going to go with you and tell whoever is a misogynist and transphobe outta the way. Come and seek out clothes, enjoy nature, and life.
I might not be Lean Beef Patty, but I certainly aim to fuck up a hater’s day by the sheer spite of my existence :3
Well, those who scream about predators the loudest probably are the scummiest ones themselves. Every accusation is a confession, as I say. You are not one at all and you did well. You are a good person. that said; your safety is your first priority, so whatever help, helps.
If you go to areas with people, it might help to go with someone you know and trust (to not snitch on you either). Seek out queer defense groups. Learn Krav Maga, carry pepper/bear spray with you in a bag. Walk in well-lit areas and be somewhat near crowds with people that seem ‘tolerant’, know how to get to a safe place.