I very much disagree with this. Paying your own rent means you have a place to call your own, even if someone else owns it. Paying a mortgage means you own your own property and have the ability to do whatever you want with it, even if you’re tied to a bank.
At 18, you’re essentially starting your life, and sometimes you need space to do that.
Unfortunately I can’t live with my parents. I probably won’t have kids, but if I do, I doubt they could afford to live anywhere else. Not unless I leave the US. It’s rough here.
We’re going to start fetishizing “living together” now because the rent is too damn high.
10 extra… How many fucking kids did you have, and then you’d want them to all stay after they are 18???
I believe they were going for 10 extended family members. e.g. 4 grandparents, 2 “adults”, 4 kids. Kinda like this:
So many reasons for parents to give a big push when the children are 18.
So many reasons children want to get out at 18.
Yeah, well, no harm in waiting a few years more
I’ve left my parents’ house at 17 and now when I look back I believe this was the best year in my whole life. Why wait?
lol yes wanting freedom and to be away from your parents at 18. A psyop. Jesus Christ.
I’m 42 and my parents recently moved in with me. Someone killed me.
Most people in most of history don’t want that. Or at least not enough to make their life immeasurably worse.
I don’t know psyop, but a cultural norm to say “when your 18 you’re out”.
From the age of 12 on, not only did my parent say this habitually, they also stopped parenting completely.
It was a common theme of rejection in my house. I could have been the perfect kid, and tried, but I’d still here “you’re gone when your 18”. Never mind I didn’t even graduate Highschool until I had been 18 for a few months- it was habitual rejection all through my teens, and to me, sounded like, I’m done parenting you and I don’t want you in my life past the years the government madates I take care of you.
Shit hurts. My husband’s parents weren’t like that, some of my friends were, some of my friends weren’t. You can tell who’s doing better now, and it’s not the kids who were told they were out at 18.
If you don’t intend to help your young adult children through their early start, especially today when it’s so hard, don’t bother having children.
To add, I got kidnapped once by a mentally ill “friend” off their meds when I was 20 years old. At 6:00 in the morning I was able to make it to my mother’s door. When I knocked, she said I needed to deal with the consequences of my actions, And she didn’t want to deal with this. So I had to get back into this person’s car. My mother rejected me and my plea for help. I had just asked to stay at her house until the first bus ran to go home because I was in trouble. She said no and slammed the door in my face. I got back in the car, and a few hours later, I had no idea where we were. The man stopped stopping at stop signs because I kept trying to jump out. He locked me in the car. Eventually I was able to escape, and the police were called, and I couldn’t call my mother for help. I will never do that to my children. Her consequences for her actions now are 15 years now of no contact.
Anything is better than living with my parents. I’d rather sleep under a bridge.
boy do i know how that goes.
As someone who literally slept under a bridge to escape a horrible home, I can confirm!
You’re overthinking it.
Parents just want their lives back. Plain and simple.
When your kids are 18+ they shouldn’t be impacting your life that much, assuming you spent the time doing things like chores, boundaries, etc as they were growing up. I moved out at 25. I bought groceries, did yard work, helped clean the house, did my own laundry, etc. I don’t care if my kids choose to stay with me past 18.
The key term is delayed adolescence. Having a 19 year old that has a job, does their own laundry, pays their own bills, etc is different from someone who is still on mom and dad’s insurance and phone plans, not paying rent, and not buying groceries.
As an example, at 25 I was working full time and my boss was 10 years older than me. My car insurance went up and I was complaining about it to my boss. Overall he didn’t think it was a big deal, but the next day he came in and told me that our conversation had got him thinking. Turns out his parents were still paying for his phone bill and car insurance. A 35 year old man living on his own and his parents were still paying his fucking bills and, icing on the cake, he wasn’t aware of it.
We don’t fit in our house I don’t need all three to leave, but I need one of them to. I don’t have an office/personal space.
I also don’t have an office space and worked covid from my basement. I think modern homes are too big, but I also totally get the desire for a home office. Unfortunately, for me at least, most homes that have an office also come with things like a formal dining room which seem like a waste of square footage.
I don’t have a basement or an attic. My oldest sleeps in part of what once was a one car garage garage. It now is a laundry room and a small bedroom. There are many nights when the only place we don’t have someone sleeping is the kitchen, the laundry room and the two bathrooms. I really could use an office space tho. I’ve been working from home more in 2025 than any other year and my PC is in the living room but there are often teenagers sleeping in there and I like to start working around 5am because my wife gets up for work at 4. I’m just waiting it out at this point, one of these kids will move out someday. Right?
Right?
That does sound pretty tight. We’re very fortunate to have a basement, which is pretty common in the Midwest but not universal. Without it the covid years would have been very tough, especially since our kids were very young at the time and wouldn’t have understood “parent working”. We wound up having to put a lock on our basement door.
The way your post reads, it seems like you’re doing the best you can. I’m sure a kid will move out someday and wish you the best both before and after that occurs!
Yeah they’re 20, 17 and 15. It could still be a few more years but we’re making changes to keep the living room more free. It’s also been extra challenging because for the last six months my job has been going through big changes and I haven’t had an office at work either, which is why I’ve been working at home more. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve worked standing in my kitchen, sitting at a conference table alone at work, or working from my car or a cafe or something. It’s actually been really cool, but sometimes really challenging.
That’s the difference between having an “adult child” and a “responsible adult” living with their parents.
Not every parent has the latter 😂
There are horror stories of adult children abusing their parents and basically taking over to house.
But honestly, even with a responsible adult child in the home, it’s not the same as having an empty nest. And I’m sure it works both ways with the adults living at home, feeling like they want their own space and not just shared living quarters.
We want to have loud, animalistic sex on my kitchen counter at 3pm.
Great graphical description…Feel free to use your pet as the third partner and have a threesome…The true essence of animalistic sex !! 😂😂😂
Conservative family values…
I miss living with family. Lived with my inlaws for a few years and then with my grandmother for another few before moving out on our own. We’re selling our house soon and moving back with our inlaws. I’ve never been so burnt out and exhausted and I’m so looking forward to having extended family around to help with our kids again.
Humans have lived in multi-generational homes forever. Moving out at 18 or right after college is a 20th century psyop. It doesn’t make sense unless you’re getting married.
This is a great point, until you want to ask your hot date to come home with you.
And even if you do manage to get far enough - until your parents veto your choice of a partner.
Saving you trouble in the long run. Get married and then have sex.
Sorry, I’m a kinky fuck, but I’m not that kinky
bruh i think you’re making a mistake here.
you’re wrongly assuming that people have sex to make children, hence they should wait till after marriage to get financial stability.
but that is not the case at all. humans are very social animals, and just like we have re-purposed our mouth and throat to speak and communicate, instead of just swallowing food, we have also re-purposed our sexuality as a form of communication, to exchange personality. that is why it is an important part of human life, even in the absence of wanting to make children.
Then why would you wait till after marriage?
people have sex to make children
Yes, this is why sex exists.
humans are very social animals
Which is why marriage as an institution has been fundamental to every major civilization since prehistory.
We have also re-purposed our sexuality as a form of communication
We have done nothing new or innovative. It’s all been done before.
that is why it is an important part of human life
I never said it wasn’t.
Then why would you wait till after marriage?
Because you do all those things with someone you’ve come to know and love without sex involved. You’ve made a lifelong commitment to each other out of love and appreciation for each other without being distracted or swayed. This commitment to each other and to purity means a loyal and healthy partner you can enjoy and raise children with. In the end, because I’m sure this is what you care most about, the sex will be better too.
We have done nothing new or innovative.
are you serious?
entertainment and stress relief to cope with being alone
Congratulations sailor, you made it to Friday
It is still normal in many parts of the world.
Yeah I’m not living with my mom thanks
Generational conflict is the other major factor. If the generation above me weren’t so difficult to be around it wouldn’t be so hard to imagine.
True. You generally aren’t treated with respect when you live under their roof so you gotta get out
I have the idea that parents are difficult to be around (especially towards their own children) to push their children “out of the nest”. I.e. it is not a natural “defect” that parents stop being acceptable people once their kids turn into puberty, but rather a feature of nature that is supposed to push teenagers out into the world to explore.
In other words, it’s a behavior that is meditated by signals: The parent gets the signal “my child is old enough to explore the world by themselves now -> push them out of the house”. That would imply that the signals can be identified and eliminated or reprogrammed to make parents more acceptable for their kids. Just a thought.
My guess is that if it were naturally preferable to keep kids in the house (for example because it’s too dangerous to go away from the house), then maybe parents would adopt to not push their children out of their house anymore.
These days it’s that they’re intolerable to.be around yet won’t let you explore the world on your own either.
I don’t know about that. I think in a lot of cases, it’s also down to our parents not getting any help for their mental health and not knowing how to deal with stuff they’re going through also making being around them a genuinely uncomfortable thing to do, even without anything like that going on.
That and a lot of people wind up having kids when they’re in no position to actually care for them and raise them properly, which aggravates the above, as well as providing material incentives to kick them out earlier.
What if you were neighbors? My family has talked about how cool it would be if we had like a family cul-de-sac
My mother in law lives next door and we love it because we don’t have to worry about her but still have some distance
Yeah I wouldn’t mind that. My in-laws have a duplex but our aunt lives next door. If it wasn’t her, it would be us.
That can work for some people, not for me though. I want some distance.
My parents live about a half hour away, and that’s a good distance: close enough that we can visit frequently, but far enough that we can claim we don’t have time. It works for us.
I like the idea of doing a commune, preferably with better urban planning than a cul-de-sac
Hell no. I moved halfway across the country to get away from them, and it’s still too close.
I made 10 bucks an hour in 2007 and had a one bedroom one bathroom apartment for $475 in a college city.
Living on your own was possible 18 years ago.
I pay more than that and live with six other people. We have a house but rent is fucked.
That same apartment I lived in jumped to something like $750 immediately in response to the crash. It now rents for $1300 last I checked. Same little end unit next to the dumpsters.
These days $475 a person crammed into an apartment with more people than bedrooms is a good deal. It’s shocking to hear about how within just the 21st century it was possible to afford housing
