You must log in or register to comment.
Ah interesting, this explains why I have always been really good at giving presentations. People always compliment me after the fact and ask how I stay so calm. The truth is that I’m extremely anxious during the whole thing and I just won’t stop talking when that happens
If the crisis is imminent, visual, and physical yes. If the crisis is more abstract with letters and bureaucracy, it’s not the same.
This right here. If I can do something right now with my body to fix the problem, I’m locked in. If I have to call a bunch of people that I don’t like and work patiently on things, not so much.
Me!!
When my boyfriend and i were short in time to get them a residents permit, without them having a job, i read law and planned finance so quickly and good that even the bureaucracy worker didnt know the forms i brought with me.
It all worked out great
This sounds uncannily like my EMR experiences.
I hate this mentality. I know plenty of ADHD folks for whom this isn’t true. I see this repeated often. If you’re able to respond well in a crisis, how do you know it’s because of your ADHD? I see no reason to think that it’s because of a disability. It just bothers me when people make my very real and very debilitating disability sound like something fun and quirky.
Removed by mod
Removed by mod
it’s a disability yes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate the parts of it that make us simply differently abled. We can’t be “normal” so might as well love the way we’re “weird”. i’m not going through life feeling sorry for myself
I’m not going through life feeling sorry for myself either. I just see this repeated often and don’t see any evidence to believe it’s true. Best case it’s just true for some people, worst case I see it as actively harmful. I hate the idea that someone unsure about whether they have ADHD and shuts down in a crisis would believe they don’t have ADHD and not seek treatment because of posts like this.
for a long, long, while i dismissed the idea that i have adhd because i didn’t think the description of adhd fit me. i was reading medical documents and official diagnostic criteria that just listed symptoms with no exploration as to how those symptoms present in actual life. and even more crucially - i couldn’t even find mentions of how adhd presents in people who never had trouble at school (they never ask you if you studied at school, just if your grades were fine, didn’t study and still got good grades? looks normal to me go away now). if anything is discouraging folks from seeking treatment it’s that - lists of symptoms that cite no actual experiences someone might relate to
and it’s not just me who had trouble relating the names of symptoms to my real life issues. i went to two psychiatrists, both listened a bit and then gave me tests, all but the self assessment were within the “norm” so they tried to give me meds for depression and wrote off my self assessment (and hours of talking) as drug seeking behaviour or being a hypochondriac (this one i even have on paper). finally, a friend of mine recommended me a doctor who also has adhd, and only the guy who actually lives with the thing was capable of noticing that i don’t exactly behave like a neurotypical person. i was ready to give up after the second psychiatrist, if not for that friend of mine i would just not seek treatment. why would i keep spending money for doctors to tell me that i’m not trying hard enough at life or that i’m depressed?
someone who has adhd isn’t going to fully dismiss their suspicions because they didn’t relate to one meme. what could make someone dismiss their suspicion are medical documents devoid of daily life context, or doctors who only care about a checklist of symptoms they can test for while ignoring their patients’ struggles in life
and though anecdotal, i can confirm that i preform much better in crisis situations than in normal life. washing dishes? not until i have literally no plates to eat from + a few days because takeaway is a thing. but being stuck in the middle of the pandemic at night in Birmingham with all hotels closed? i wasn’t even stressed, despite the fact i came pretty close to people that looked like they wanted to mug me, twice
It is because a crisis often has the right level of stimuli. It is also why ADHD folks tend to wait until the last minute and then pull out all the stops to get things done.
Not everyone with ADHD is good in a crisis, but it is a very common theme for us.
It’s the adrenaline triggered by the survival instinct, that gets one going.
I do my absolutely best work a couple of hours before the big project is due.
I might have had a few weeks to do it, but nooooo. I don’t even really get started until the night before.
I do think it’s the added “element of danger” that kicks my brain into overdrive.
The rest of the time, I’m in a quasi-befogged state. Perhaps during that boring time, I’m saving up energy to handle the “danger” before going back into my little trance.
I’ve been weirdly extremely successful once I figured out how to work with this tendency, instead of fighting it.
I do tend to think things through without acting on it until the last minute, then knock it out successfully on the first try. Some coworkers will start the work and then fail, redo the work, etc. which were the same things I was thinking would fail as I thought through it, and it took us roughly the same amount of time to work through.
They show continuous effort, and I look like I breezed through it, but we just had different ways of getting to the same end goal.
That’s exactly right; your continuous effort (and mine) happens to be different.
It’s just internal and invisible to others, but it’s still happening constantly.
deleted by creator
Everything is important and very interesting? There’s clear priorities, maybe even a checklist? Sign me up.
deleted by creator
I moments of crisis, I will just start crying, but I can do that very fast.
It may not be marketable, but it is a skill. 🤝
Unfortunately, ADHD being a spectrum, not all of us get blessed with the crisis focus superpower.
Can unfortunately confirm. Am useless in and our of a crisis. I can have all the steps for what to do laid out in my head, but be inexplicably incapable of doing anything with them.
I’ve got it. I turn into a damn super hero.
I’m only worth anything in a crisis.
It’s why my last relationship worked for so long. Girl was a living crisis.
Ohhhhhh, that explains a number of past relationships for me.
I only date crazy (cluster B especially) women. It‘s always exciting, never boring, and I feel useful when I support them in whatever crisis situation they created. Somehow I confuse being wanted as support with love.
I tried dating more balanced people, who have their lives under control. Couldn’t do it. It’s simply too boring.
I really miss my unstable ex, even though the relationship ended with a broken heart, being broke as in too much credit card debt, a broken door in my apartment, and broken friendships with my old friends. I would do it all again though. The happiest days of my life were together with that extremely charming and sexy histrionic goddess.
Limerance is my favorite drug.
The woman I’ve been with for the last decade is an emotional woman, but she’s smart, capable, and stable.
The one I spent my late teens through 32, man oh man. It was always something with her. I’d be at work thinking everything was ok, get home and find she had left. I mean, she dealt with a lot of shit out of me, but damn.
Our last big breakup took 3 years. We were a signature away from closing on a loan for a home. She left me over and over again. Cheated with more people than I even know about. Didn’t want me at all until I found someone else and then all hell broke loose.
To give you an example of how much cheating went on at the end (maybe throughout, I never spied on her). 2 years after we had split for good an old mutual friend approached me at a gas station and apologized to me haha. I didn’t even know anything had happened between them.
Poor girl died from breast cancer 4 years after we split.
Life is chaos. It really is.
Lmao same here buddy.
“My life has been an ongoing series of crises. Move over, you weak-ass bitch, I’ve got the coping mechanisms for this.”
… unless I’m the cause of the crisis, then I’m a mess
Reminds me of a time, maybe 15 years ago, a young teen fainted in the middle of the queue in the supermarket. Everyone was stunned by the bystander effect, and as soon as I checked on him, everyone else sprang into action. It’s odd seeing it in action. Anyway, I could slink out real quick after that.
This needed more Cheems and Swole Doge. Still upvoted.
Me, when our cellar flooded because of heavy rainfall last fall: *overwhelmed* *panicattacc*
Me, when my wife proposes to go on a short vacation in two weeks: *overwhelmed* *panicattacc*
Their crisis managment skills have nothing to do with their ADHD. It my be inspite of it and good on them. I am not the least bit envious grumble grumble
Found this applies nicely to my career. Routineish work? Drag my feet and fight myself to do anything. Fixing problems (bigger the better)? Everybody stand back, I got it.
Whole damn system failed due to a database failure that propagated to our secondary host too. Hacked our backup to usable in a day (meeting most requirements, including transition requirements) with a path forward for total system recovery on the main system.
Documentation on any of that though, that was a … struggle.
Same here. Daily business I have to push me to get through the work. Major outage and everyone runs around like headless chicken? I’m the one keeping it cool and organising that everything comes back.
Me in normal circumstances: “Don’t perceive me, I am not here, attention is pain, under the radar is my happy place”
Me running tech for live events: “Something is fucky on stage mid-song, and I am here to fix it. Fuck your attention, I am unborking a thing here.”
