Hi all!
We’re very excited to move to Denmark soon as lifelong Americans. I have a good job lined up, and we’re set on a place to live for a while.
Any advice from people who have done it, looked it up, had friends who have done it, etc? Just in general :)
Dane here, living in the UK but have lived in the US and spent a lot of time with Americans.
First of all make sure your are looking at Forskerordningen, which can radically lower your tax burden as a foreign worker coming to Denmark.
Second, binge watch YouTube - there’s a lot of content of Americans moving to Denmark and most of them are full of advice. Travelin’ Young is the most nuanced.
It’s very easy to navigate stores and big cities with English. Do not let that fool you. Danes REALLY appreciate arrivals learning the language and there are many places where not knowing the language will really impact you. Also, language is culture and it’s too easy in Denmark to fool yourself into thinking it’s not a problem for you. You won’t really live there and make those connections without speaking the language. Learn the language; I cannot say this clearly enough. It’ll make an ENORMOUS difference to you.
Danes are very direct compared to Americans. Especially in the work place. They can find Americans phony and saccharine if too indirect and they do not like corporate lingo. Speak plainly, be clear, feel a little “rude” (as an American) and you’ll quickly zero in on the right level of directness. It will be extremely difficult for you, as an American, to not read Danes as bored or rude. They are just plain.
Be advised that “provinsen” (the outskirts) is quiet, dull, won’t speak English and very bare. If you’re not living in a big city, be prepared for an uphill climb. On the upside, though, if you built relationships out there, they’ll last a lifetime.
If you want to be fully “adopted”, be advised that alcohol is part of the culture. Most events include alcohol. Sobriety isn’t normal (nor is getting blind drunk, basically go for the medium). If you decline a drink, people will understand, but it will prevent your acceptance.
If you have kids, steel yourself for the liberty danes afford their children - and expect others to give their own too. Kids will roam and being exposed to risk is seen as healthy part of growing up, including in state schools. Tree climbing, whacking each other, tumbling, whittling with knives, playing without supervision - these things are the norm and if you try to “protect your children” against these risks, you’ll find Danes chuckling behind your back.
Janteloven is real. If you’re ambitious, be strategic about how you expose your ambition to others. Succeeding through hard work and not shouting about it from the rooftops is seen as “how it’s done”.
There’s a “template” for the happy Danish life; Detached house, robot lawn mower, dug down trampoline, one nice car, robot vacuum cleaner, open plan living - OR a city flat. That’s fine, you think, people can do what they want. But in Denmark, diverging from that template will cause others to be confused … “why don’t you want this life”, they’ll ask, never openly … but not adopting this template will prevent a lot of things that you’ll only ever discover once you adopt this template. Not keeping your house and/or your garden will rapidly ostracize you.
You won’t eat out as much as you used to. Most Danes cook, every day, from raw ingredients. The US “recipes” that involved combining three branded, prepared foods, is not seen as cooking. Food and tax levels promote this life style, which means it’s very expensive to eat out (however, the quality will be high). Take away foods are low quality, compared to the US … there’s is not the same DoorDash culture in Denmark and most take-aways are salty, fatty and done without a lot of care. You can struggle against it, but it’ll kill your budget. Motorway stops are crap compared to the anglosphere - you’re lucky to find food you’ll want to eat. Public bathrooms will be rough in those places. Distances aren’t as long in Denmark, so it’s less of an issue in Denmark.
Danes are worried about immigration and will openly speak about these worries. The tone can seem very direct to an American. Be advised they definitely don’t mean you; they mean immigration from Africa and the Middle East. There’s an undercurrent of racism that’s real - but it’s not bound in skin colour, just in culture. If you behave nicely and - even better - you speak the language it’ll never affect you.
Be on time. Danes expect others to be on time and they’ll get very frustrated if you’re not. If you’re invited somewhere, arrive no earlier than the stated time and no later than 10 minutes after the stated time. Danes will work hard to be on time themselves and if you’ve invited someone somewhere for, say, 6pm and you aren’t then ready at 6pm, they’ll also be quite frustrated.
Money doesn’t talk in Denmark. I mean, of course it does, and rich people quietly getting their way is an unfortunate fact of life in Denmark too. But people are not impressed at expensive habits, nor willing to accept that someone with money can jump the queue. As an example, there was an ENORMOUS debate this summer, across all news media, about Legoland having a paid option to skip the queue. It touched the very nerve of what Denmark was about to many Danes; “how can you be allowed to jump the queue just because you have money?!”. Of course, private (supplementary) health care exists in Denmark, but private hospitals are out of sight and people wouldn’t always feel proud to be able to afford to skip queues. “We are all individuals! We are all individuals!”, “I’m not”, “YES YOU ARE” is for real in Denmark.
That’s a lot of warnings and negatives, I’m sorry.
On the positive side:
I hope that’s helpful.
I’m not moving to Denmark and I’m Dutch but this was an interesting read! Thanks for writing it.