when i was around 7 or 8, i was convinced i was actually born a boy and my family was lying to me. i wanted short hair too. i didn’t like to wear dresses or stereotypically girly stuff and i wanted to wear men’s clothes. i wanted to hang out with the other boys and it always seemed like the “boy world” was more my thing at that age than the girl world i was expected to enter.
I’m cis man, so no. That being said, I feel bad you had to deal with the pressure of being expected to dress as a girl/woman. I can only fathom what it would be like, but imagining being expected to play with girls instead of boys growing up, in my situation, would be very annoying. Would you feel bored being with other girls? Did you end up having more fun hanging out with boys?
i’ve grown out of the phase, but i thought all girls cared about was makeup and hated sports and videogames. plus, girls also tended to bully me more for being autistic whereas boys didn’t judge me as much so long as i could play catch with a football.
Sorry to hear about the bad experiences, glad you have been able to take some steps to improve your life, I hope you can continue going in that direction.