Do we all really think this is a great idea when fascism and toxic masculinity are catastrophically growing globally like a late stage mestastized cancer?
Do you think enabling all those men to abusively control their spouses is just the forward march of technological progress?
I don’t know, it’s a pointless thing that I just forgot to turn off at some point. I couldn’t care less if she knows where I am and sometimes I do what her to know, like when I go hiking alone.
I have my mom’s location, and it’s good because she just turned 64 (I think) five minutes ago, I need to wish her a happy birthday, appreciate the reminder. But when she travels out alone, sometimes it’s nice to know she got back to her hotel without having to bother her about it, so we do the sharing thing. And for hiking alone, sharing your location with someone beforehand just seems like a good idea.
This article is dumb. Location sharing is silly. People will abuse it, and those same people would’ve found some other way to abuse the trust in their relationships anyway. I had girlfriends as a kid who’d demand calls when I was at a party they weren’t at. Dealing with a lack of trust in a relationship is a growing pain.
People will abuse it, and those same people would’ve found some other way to abuse the trust in their relationships anyway.
The WHOLE point of this thread is that NO this is a new entirely more persistent tool of abuse.
Dealing with a lack of trust in a relationship is
done by leaving said relationship.
Yeah, it is possible to be totally sane about it.
No it really isn’t, privacy is a nuanced thing.
Since you’re one of the few people that admit to you and your partner using it: What do you think about the company knowing where you are at all times?
Yes, somebody pointed that out already. I need to find out more about how it’s done.
Are you happy with the company that makes the app and the 71960 partner companies with “legitimate interest” knowing where you are all the time too?
I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about it. For sure I don’t. I hoped that it was secure in some way. Yeah that’s kind of really bad lol
Might I suggest this: https://www.zood.xyz/
I’m still good ta. But it might be ok for the person I was replying too. I assume that there’s been independent verification of their claims and we’re not just taking them at their word.
Interesting! Thanks for sharing.
If your partner doesn’t abuse it is fine, but that’s also possible to change at any time.
Further most people don’t know they are in abusive relationships even if it is obvious to others around them so the casually dismissive argument “well abusive couples shouldn’t use it” is a trash argument.
Whether you know it or not does not change the message. Abusive couples shouldn’t not use this app, they shouldn’t be couples.
My point is when people use this argument “Well abusive couples just shouldn’t be couples!” it is a way to dismiss the danger of never ending surveillance that makes an INCREDIBLY problematic leap of condemning people falling into abusive relationships to simply suffer, tough luck… and it demonstrates a callous, ineffective and frankly worrying understanding of how abusive relationships formed in general.
It doesn’t dismiss anything. It’s just a statement of fact. Certainly in certain contexts it could be interpreted that way.
Not just couples. I was aghast to learn that my fellow parents at work track the location of their teenage kids. All of them, except me. What the fuck? If I want to know where they are I text and ask.
What’s more - half of them also have it turned on in the other direction.
This is crazy to me. I want my kids to grow into adults and I’m not going to surveil them all the time. I think a kid of teen age has some reasonable expectation of privacy. We are close, I have a good relationship with my kids but not THAT close, I don’t need to know if you stopped at Wawa on your way home.
If you sacrifice freedom for security, then you deserve neither.
Patriot act, Snowden, Cambridge Analytica
we already done sacrificed freedom. This is the FO stage
I have my location shared with my wife because while I was working out of the house I got tired of answering the same text message (“how far from home are you so I can start dinner?”) every afternoon. She’s the only one in the world I have no secrets from, so I just never turned it off. I honestly don’t know if she still knows I’ve got it shared with her.
This is how it works with us too.
I’m kind of neurotic and get worried that something may have happened to her while she’s traveling, which she does a lot. If she’s supposed to arrive somewhere and hasn’t I start pacing and biting my nails thinking of all the bad things that could have happened.
We shared each other’s location and the peace of mind has helped a lot.
We don’t keep secrets from each other. Some folks in this thread see location sharing as a threat, I assume because they are uncomfortable or have existing trust issues with their relationship that are yet to be resolved?
I’m kind of neurotic
The solution to this is to deal with the neurosis, not to try and control all the information. You’re giving in to your negative thoughts with unhealthy behaviour instead of dealing with it properly.
Different people and relationships can have different solutions that work for them. That’s OK!
To me it’s weird that people have issues with this. My wife and I, married 35 years, share each other’s locations because if something bad happened we would want to be able to find each other. I don’t even give a second thought to, “…and I can make sure she isn’t cheating on me.”
Honestly, with the current political situation in my country, this might be a good idea.
She does.
That’s really not the type of person she is, or the type of relationship we have. She might well know that I’m still sharing with her, but it’s not because she’s controlling or untrusting. It would be because she had a reason to check recently.
I was kidding BTW
It’s so hard to tell. I’ve been online for almost 30 years and I still can’t tell most of the time.
Yeah, my wife has mine and I know she doesn’t use it as often as she could, because I’ll get the text, and I’ll be like hey, just check the location. Both or jobs take us different places every day (that we aren’t home), and so neither of us have a schedule, and so rather than the same texts every day, “When you home,” when we’re trying to figure out the kids, or dinner, or camps, or I have to go to work at night, or she has a book club meeting, or whatever other myriad things happen every day, we can skip that step. Or we have the ability to, and my wife forgets about it.
Having a shared calendar has been a godsend for us. Honestly we would each probably miss like half of our appointments if my the other wasn’t able to say “hey don’t you have that thing…?” or “hey aren’t the kids supposed to be at that place in twenty minutes…?”. I can imagine location sharing makes that even easier because you’d know if it’s even possible for them to make it, or if you need to get them ready or whatever.
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To share my location with my partner I need to share it with a third part also and I’m pretty selective about that so I never even signed up for this kind of thing.
I use location services but just leave them off until I need them. I’m not super hard to find anyways
Routinely seen this cause drama between people with poor communication.
Nosy friend with it? Get ready for I’m coming by or what are you doing there texts.
know some people who use it to pick up drunk friends just in case. For emergencies. Do they use it like her? Noooooooopeeeee
Most people lack the maturity for this. It skeeves me the fuck out.
Been sharing with select friends and family for years now, zero issues. And if we did have an issue? I’m turning it off for you 🤷♂️ pretty simple. Frequently extremely convenient.
A friend of a friend of mine is sharing with a friend of theirs. And it’s a crap show like you said, coming over, inviting themselves to events, why were you there, etc. Everything you said. And it’s still a problem, to the point where they leave their phone at home if they are doing anything sensitive, because they are afraid of hurting the person’s feelings by turning it off 🙄
I think the key is having a backbone, and also not having crap friends 🤷♂️
Why would you want to share your location so third parties can have access to it?
That’s a fair point, it’s also not the issue at hand 🤷♂️
Oh 1000%
Id tell someone to fuck off so quick.
Some people are enablers for those kinds of friends. Others have no problem with it. Ex and family all shared. They’d all be in each other’s shit and were a ok with it. Was so odd to see being the polar opposite.
Isn’t it strange that “trusting” someone now, means letting them constantly spy on you?
I talked to some late teens about it some months ago. They see it as an “I give you permission to see my every move” kind of thing, as in they have nothing to hide. And they do it pretty early on in relationships, as a show of commitment.
I got my SO to turn off location tracking on Snapchat because I got a message from a family member about his location. She had screenshotted his location from the snap map, searched the address, found the person living there, searched him up, found out he’s also gay, and wondered if I knew he was out with another man?! FYI we attended a dinner party at the guys home.
That’s the level of insane some people get. Constant surveillance, mixed with insecurities and stories of cheating, and you’ve got a shitty ass cocktail.
Me having location shared with my partner of 20 years is one thing. But sharing it with anyone else? Fuck no.
I wouldn’t even share my location with my SO of 10+ years. Why? They don’t need it, and there’s tons of potential negative things with that (phone manufacturer sells it, gov’t takes it w/ backdoor deals, breach reveals it, etc).
I don’t want my SO’s location information, and they shouldn’t want mine. If I’m doing some high risk activity, like doing a long hike alone, sure, but it’s going off immediately after.
Immature crap like this makes me very grateful to be a grownup married to a grownup.
This article constantly reloads and alternates between showing and hiding some warning about my privacy lol. Unreadable.
My wife and I have it on Google Maps. I can’t remember why, but we’ve had it for years. I think my wife worries if I’m safe sometimes. I think I check it less than once a year. I checked it once to see if they were on their way home once, that’s about it.
First step - get a gf
Just treat them like regular people, like you would anyone else, and they’ll come to you. Basically, you don’t have to hit on them. Just be their friend. Let it happen naturally.
If you have to use these things in a relationship, then you already have a problem.
My wife and I have location sharing enabled in case something happens to one of us. We usually don’t use it, but its good to have when we need to meet up at an unfamiliar place after something goes sideways for one of us.
But if your SO doesn’t trust you enough to allow you private moments and would accuse you of cheating, your relationship isn’t based on trust and thus is very weak.
This kind of shit is pretty common for younger people. I work as a teacher, and I hear students talk about this all the time. I tell them how unhealthy it is blah, blah, blah. My SO tells the younger people at her work “If I had PumpkinSkink’s location sharing on he couldn’t surprise me with cake from the bakery”. She has had more success than I getting people to stop.
