My wife and I are going to a concert in a few months which is considered ‘girl pop’ and we have standing tickets. I wanted to get a look at what a show by this artist is like, so I search YouTube just to find it’s a bunch of young adult woman screaming anytime something is done like a dance move as an example, but this just isn’t me.
I have a worry that someone is going to start filming me for being ‘grumpy’ or whatever, usually I wouldn’t think this much into it, but I’m already going to be sticking out like a sore thumb and in the current year I always assume I’m in the background of someone’s video at any given moment and I don’t want my awkwardness being confused for anything else other than what it is.
Am I in over my head, or should I just not overthink it and try to enjoy myself?
Just go, dude, like if the “girls” in the band weren’t hitting their 30’s
just be free to go, who cares – as long as you can enjoy it, nobody’s harmed. So go and have fun with your wife!
I went to a local band performance where the median age of the audience was around 14, with me as a 40 year old in attendance. I felt self conscious for about 2 minutes until the show started. Then I didn’t care anymore.
Banger show. I’m glad I went.
You do you, dude. Don’t worry about what others might think about your attendance. Vote with your dollar. Spend it on stuff you want to enjoy.
Take an edible and have a good time. No one cares.
Guy over 30 here. I went to a PVRIS concert recently, and apparently the singer is a LGBT icon. Also the opener was Scene Queen. I definitely didn’t fit into the demographic, but I didn’t feel like I was sticking out either.
It was an awesome concert. IMO you’re overthinking it. Just have fun.
and apparently the singer is a LGBT icon.
Anyone who sees this and doesn’t immediately go “oh they’re gay as fuck” needs to replace the batteries in their gaydar:

Oh, new batteries won’t help. Mine is completely busted.
What band / singer?
Jade Thirlwall, former member of little mix
You must really love your wife haha. Seriously, try to enjoy the concert. You’re already going, so you might as well try to enjoy yourself.
Wrong answers only
Feminazgul
BTS
Twice
Enjoy the show. In the last two years, I was at 2 shows where a male companion and me were the oldest. And one show we were only beaten by boring parents which waited in the bar area instead of listening to a great show (imagine grumpy older Gen X being on their phones the entire time). It felt weird at first. Teens and young adults all around me. Every teen had so much swag and I needed Vexillology lesson because there were so many queer flags and didn’t know existed. The shows were nice (Tessa Violet and Cavetown) and I had a great time. Everything was calm, the bar always free, I guess because money is a lot tighter when you are young. If people notice you they’ll think you are a cool dude cause you enjoy good music.
Upvoted for the Vexillology reference.
But yeah, OP, just enjoy the show. Most of the attendants are going to be way too focused on the show, their friends, and themselves to care that some rando isn’t bopping along with them.
Just stay with your wife, it is not weird to accompany her…
While you’re there, you’ll probably see someone twice as out of place as you, and immediately forget about them.
Have fun! Don’t overthink it.
I went to a Jonas Brothers concert with my wife a few years ago and I had this same worry. I went, was overwhelmed by how much my ears hurt from how loud the entire crowd of women screaming was, and ended up enjoying the performance, even if I feel like I was sticking out for now being that excited.
There was some solace in seeing other dudes in the crowd, probably feeling exactly like I was
It’s possible you will feel weird about being there and not enjoy it. I was to two concerts of one of my favorite bands and I just didn’t really get it and enjoy it that much, because it was in a big crowd. The “live” thing just didn’t do it for me, so my conclusion is that I just prefer music by myself.
But the mood at the event itself shouldn’t keep you out, you like what you like and if it’s a cool community, they will not gatekeep it.
My wife and I
Showing up alone would be a bit weird. With your wife, nobody should give you a second look.
It depends big time on the size of the venue, for me. I have a hard time enjoying shows in stadiums and like giant amphitheatres…
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Standing because i have only ever been to one concert 11 years ago and it was in the cheap seats and i do enjoy the music as does my wife but I’m just a very reserved person and i felt like being in a crowd id be the sore thumb but as others have said i doubt anyone is going to be looking at me
Don’t listen to them, standing section is almost always the right move.
You’ll be fine! Especially since you’re there with your wife, you’ve got good company to distract you from whatever anyone else is doing if the show isn’t already doing that. All sorts of people show up at concerts, even if they don’t always show up in the photos and videos of those concerts as much
I went to a Heilung gig a few years back (incredible experience, by the way) and it was really funny in a lovely way to look at the crowd. It was like a straight 50/50 split of people that looked like the very stereotype of 60s hippies and equally stereotypical metalheads. Flower crowns and corpse paint right next to each other. We all had a great time together
I’m quite a tall guy and not the most outgoing a lot of the time, so I do understand how it’s easy to feel like you’re sticking out in a crowd. Thing is though, everyone is there to see the act, not to people-watch the audience
With that said why on earth did you get standing tickets? That just sounds miserable and I didn’t think those were even allowed anymore
I’ve literally never been to a concert that had seating.
Actually, that’s not true… But it’s only like maybe two out of hundreds that had seating.
I’m surprised to see someone say that they don’t think standing tickets are allowed any more, what gave you that impression?
Regardless, being in the standing section is exciting and usually a very good view. It’s not necessarily the right atmosphere for every person or every show, but if you enjoy the feeling of being in the crowd as everyone moves together it’s great
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That’s largely limited by ticket sales nowadays, right? Responsible / law-abiding venues (in countries with good regulation on it) don’t sell so many standing tickets that the risk gets too high
The wiki page you linked in the other reply has a link to a list page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_crowd_crushes
You’ll notice that very few recent ones are at concerts, and those that are consistently involve serious mismanagement of the event and usually something inciting large-scale fear responses
You are right that it’s less safe than being seated, and you do need to watch out for your surroundings and be ready to get yourself out if you think it’s too much. It is a problem that we know how to handle for the most part without banning all standing areas, though
Like where? I can only assume you’ve never been to a large pop concert
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The sort of event you’re describing is incredibly rare, and I can still only assume you haven’t been to a concert with a GA section in decades. You’re much more likely to die in a car accident on the way to a concert than by a crowd crush at a concert
People don’t go to concerts to look at the audience. If anyone has a problem they are a gate keeping moron.
I’m not sure about “girl pop” concert vibe, but i don’t see much video pointing out at people in the crowd in concerts (in fact, i only remember one, and it’s not really being mean at the person). Also there may be some kind of survivor paradox here : the video you see of young adult woman may not be a realistic depiction of the crowd, there probably is people just chilling, but they’re less interesting to film, so there’s less video about them. I’d say enjoy yourself !




