Oh for sure - and the nutters will be saying it’s ‘divine mandate’ since he survived those assassination attempts. We ain’t seen shit yet.

Aww come on, maybe your kid will have super powers then, like an extra arm or glowing in the dark. Where’s your sense of adventure?

No I’m not!

…is that the “Dark MAGA” bullshit he’s throwing out there?

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I mean in his defense… This is an onion article after all. It’s only mostly believable.

Gotta take the rubes for everything they’re worth. I wonder how many inheritances that fucking guy has sacked.

I usually just respond “I’m a sustainer”.

$896 per month in premiums, and about $18k out of pocket so far this year in addition. Me and two kids.

I’m always surprised by how many people buy eggplants with their friends.