He tows a very large boat to the ocean, and he uses it for hunting, fishing, camping, and getting firewood in the mountains. It’s very bland looking.

He has a smaller car for other stuff, I was just using it so I could move.

Whenever I drive my parents F250 (long bed mega cab) I always park at the back of parking lots. I know I park like an asshole, but at least it’s out of the way.

I heard that “who let the dogs out” by the Baha Men is about ugly girls coming to the club.

I was explaining this to a coworker, and one of my female coworkers were around. After I said it, I looked at her and said “oh my gosh I’m so sorry” because I thought it was inappropriate to say at work.

She took it as I was calling her ugly! (she was though)

Chloroform

I was helping my mom shop for a new car, and we discovered she needed the requirement of “physical AC controls”.

Everything is all on the touch screen.

LASERJET COPIERS ARE SUPERIOR!

I’ve been using SwiftKey since like, 2012?

I just like the custom keyboards, and it learns my mistakes when I swipe. I always carry 2 phones, so I was able to sync the 2nd phone so my swipes are already learned on that phone.

Also, there’s a snow keyboard that collect snow at the bottom of the screen as you swipe.

No, they aren’t.

All of my coworkers are super trump supporters, they even bought the flag from the assassination attempt. Yesterday, one of them told me to go “fuck my couch” and I said “there’s enough couch fuckers around” which confused him.

I awkwardly explained the JD Vance couch thing (I know it was just a troll, it didn’t actually happen) and he BLEW UP. He was explaining that he looks up to and respects JD and I shouldn’t believe what I’m seeing on the internet.

My wife was like this all the time. It was so exhausting and I couldn’t keep track of what she was mad about anymore. Then she started accusing me of cheating on a regular basis.

Then I found the texts in her phone to multiple other guys. Pictures and everything. I bent over so far backwards for her to keep her happy and that’s what happened.

Dumped her ass, got a new girlfriend that is radically different (she communicates) and I’m getting my life back on track. Restraining order in place. The future will be good.

Sometimes your printer won’t print in black and white if a color is out because it uses all of the colors to create a deeper black. Depends on the model though.

And some of them use yellow as a lubricant because yellow toner has a consistency close to water.

Also, please do not copy money or your butt. Trust me.

You guys are hilarious! There’s no way I’m going to search for it. That watch is going to find me before I find it.

I lost my Casio watch somewhere in my closet about 3 years ago (I am very lazy).

I still hear it beep every hour.