• 14 Posts
  • 54 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 9th, 2023

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  • I used to be a pretty famous ASCII artist. Actually made money from it. I made enough money to cover all of my art school education and every art supply I’d ever bought. Which means I’m a successful artist.

    My ex had my old phone number. I got a message from her to check her voicemail. And then I got a message that she hated me. The voicemail was offering me a job as an ASCII artist. She hated me because I always seem to make money off of the absolute dumbest hobbies. I respected her for saying that.


  • I was on digging trenches in the yard for sprinklers when my then girlfriend came out onto the porch. She was kind of staring off into space. “What’s up?” " I just got a phone call. My mom died." “Congratulations.” “Thank you.”

    She was a new girlfriend and I did not know anything about the history between her and her mom. But apparently my response was exactly the right one. Mom had slipped and died in her bathroom.


  • My place isn’t paid off but it is cheap enough that I can say what would change and, importantly, what wouldn’t.

    My monthly payment is just under $700 a month. About $400 of that is the actual mortgage. The rest is basically property taxes and insurance. I’d save $400 a month but would still have to pay $300. Assuming I didn’t decide to just earn $400 less a month then that $400 would have to go back into the property. I need a new roof. I need a new HVAC (AC died three years ago). A new roof and AC would cost almost a quarter of my original mortgage. So in the end not much would change financially.

    An important thing to remember about home ownership is that on average you are going to spend about 1% to 3% or a dollar a square foot on home maintenance each year. I had to replace my septic system months after buying the place, 7.6% of the home price. I had to replace my water heater a few years ago. Fortunately it’s located outside the building so no water damage and I was able to do that replacement myself so instead of spending $1800 for someone else to do it I did it for $450.

    Once I have even a little spare money I need to do some roof repairs, not pay someone else to do it.










  • Not me. I can’t have kids because I understand that tortilla presses in the hands of a 3 year old becomes a finger crusher and if a kid isn’t old enough to make a tortilla press they aren’t old enough to use one. Age 6 is the right age for working with power tools.

    I’m only half joking. My wife got herself fixed at 24 and and I got myself fixed at 40 because we both know that we both knew neither of us should ever have kids.