Also might be interesting - Trolley Man can grant 1 wish, but the wisher definitely dies. No workarounds, no tricksy moves, 100% guarantee of being dead in the ground. The wish just takes an entire human’s life-force energy.

Technically not the only answer. If you’ve never had botflies and carried water from the well in a bucket, then you’re not living.

Dick Dale era surf guitar (someone else mentioned this as well, adding the best artist name). Dick Dale also did a cover of Claude Debussy’s “The Aquarium” which is the sound track for Space Mountain at Disneyland/World. So either or both, and there might be other covers of “The Aquarium” out there if the original isn’t too slow.

Going more ocean-themed…

Aquabats or Tsunami Bomb for some early 2000s punk/ska that isn’t ocean-themed but the bands are kinda.

Tide is High - Blondie

Scuba Diver - King Kong (it’s a weird song, but hypnotic)

Where is My Mind - Pixies (about fish, but close enough)

Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin

Maybe more sailing themed, but that’s close, right?

Brandy by Looking Glass

My Heart Will Go On - there’s a Dragonforce metal cover of this if you’ve been traumatized by the pennywhistle.

Come Sail Away - Styx

Rock Lobster!

I feel like reddit is accidentally trying to speedrun dead internet theory.

I stopped using it when their quality contributor score shadowbanned me because I don’t post enough in the right subs.

My partner stopped using it for the same reason - account used every couple days for comments also shadowbanned out of no where.

Starting a new account means grinding for a month or two in subs that force you to spam each other with up votes before you can ever do anything other than post and ask the mods to approve your post manually.

…are you serious? I know this is Linux Memes, but have you ever used Windows 11? MS has been ruining their own products for years. 1/3 of their janky code is LLMs constantly causing problems.

MAGA posters on Twitter in a nutshell

Came here to say the same thing.

How about I feign surprise? Does that work, EU?

They’re not really competitors across both enterprises. If they were then you’d need some conspiracy theory-level mental gymnastics for things like:

https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/azure/defender-for-cloud/quickstart-onboard-aws?tabs=Defender-for-Containers

https://aws.amazon.com/windows/products/

https://about.ads.microsoft.com/en/blog/post/october-2025/unlocking-more-opportunities-for-partners-and-customers-through-collaboration-with-amazon

And finally

https://advertising.amazon.com/library/news/microsoft-amazon-dsp-partnership

This isn’t Coke vs. Pepsi for computer boops. This is about ad revenue! They can partner up to cut Google out of the mix!

This is a bit of a catch-22, isn’t it? And I’m saying this as someone that grew up poor and lived in communities where people lived on $1 a day. This isn’t the solution it thinks it is.

Poverty rates in urban areas mean that a lot of people who are food insecure live in places distantly removed from where food is grown. Even in Brazil. The crops spoken of here are popular specifically because they travel well, store well, are cheap to mill, and common commodities so a bag of rice from Thailand can go to Brazil or the US or Nigeria or France or India and everyone knows what to expect. But other than high value crops like flowers, cocoa or coffee, it’s exceedingly rare that large numbers of farmers grow crops that they don’t consume even a bit themselves or sell locally. Post-harvest waste products for most staple grains are their own market, and plenty of broken rice makes it to the market for sale as well. I’m not saying this is a perfect or good system, just that it hits a lot of very basic human desires that do, in fact, feed most people on earth already.

A right to food system is nice, but it’s expensive, especially as populations continue to urbanize. Many countries subsidize agriculture, focused on smallholder farming, because it’s a cheap way to get votes and funnel things like fertilizer contracts to your friends.

If this was such a good idea, the logical conclusion is to just make exports of edible products illegal and only allow imports. Flood your own markets with food that would be so cheap no one would bother farming it because the inputs alone would run you at a huge loss.

Oh no.

…Anyway

90’s Baywatch. It wasn’t actually all about Pamela Anderson running in slow-motion, and the first season had a number of “Guys, this is actually a real dramatic show about real people doing a dangerous job saving lives” episodes.

IMO Buffy was more than just fine. The episode Hush was nominated for an Emmy, it’s excellent even if you’re not into the show.

Xena was eye-rolling entertaining at best. But then every season or so they would have one really well-done episode. Callisto comes to mind in season 1.

Nearly everything up until they went into the hatch was gold. Mysteries to the point of putting on closed captions to see the type of sounds the smoke monster made (IIRC, “mechanical whirling sounds”). Then it all just got sillier and sillier and stupider and stupider.

Of course not! That’s crazy.

If all the regional neighbors also got dragged in then that would mean that when the US went into Iraq that Kuwait, Turkey, Jordan, Qatar, Saudi Arabia…

Oh, never mind.

IMDB might be, they’re covered in trackers and ads. MS is a donor to Wikipedia (via Microsoft Matching Gifts Program) so they’re getting what they paid for.

I’m surprised HWMNBN has kept so many flunkies around for so long. He ran through senior staff goons faster than he runs through wives the first time around.

The bigger weight is anything that MS can sell for ad revenue.

I be there’s a Linux distro that would run on it.

Ew - eat an old? So stringy and greasy. You should have been feeding them to a volcano god!

“Yeah, well, I can’t comprehend much, right?” clicks ACCEPT