I learned women actually don’t have the same access to higher education as men. That misogyny and rape culture is real and heavily affect people’s lives in present day. And that it’s about isolated incidents with bad apples, but about the structures around bad incidents, and how they systematically facilitate bad situations, don’t help or silence victims.

I genuinely believed it was safe to give my peers the benefit of the doubt and assume that their ironically bigoted jokes weren’t their actual views. And it was heartbreaking to realize that that is not an assumption you can make. You don’t know people’s values unless they tell you, seriously and genuinely, straight from the heart. You cannot infer values from ironic jokes, and you cannot assume that the nice people around you share your core values, that you’d otherwise take for granted that everyone but lunatics agree with. You don’t know before you ask.

I learned that humor isn’t always innocent. That not everyone who hears you make an “ironically bigoted” joke laughs because of its absurdity - they laugh because they agree. They think you agree with their bigoted views and values, and your joke further cements their worldview, that everyone thinks like them, everyone else is just too scared to say it openly. That jokes can be used as a weapon to create a culture where i.e. overt “ironic” racism is considered normal, and genuine conversations about real racism is taboo.

None of this was in the curriculum. It came from experiencing the social setting and viewing the effects of a broken administrative system at an “elite” engineering college.

I was not a feminist when I walked into my STEM education, and I was when I left.

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.

- Mister Rogers

I’m not going to give them my fear

- AOC

Hope is what we have in the face of adversity. Do not accept defeat. There is so much worth fighting for.

Sustain and nourish your hope.

The best thing that can happen to your opposition is you losing hope. Losing hope, losing the ability to imagine a different, better future drains you from even making the attempt. Making you hopeless, paralyzed, complacent is part of the oppositions strategy.

This rapid horrific change is still proof that change is possible.

Consciously nourish your hope. Consciously combat the attempts to make you hopeless.

Stop looking at the monster until that’s all you see, and you’re locked, frozen to the ground.

Look between the monsters’ feet. Look at all the people gathering, organizing, helping each other fight these skyscraper tall monsters.

If you won’t hope, there is no better place to find it than in community with likeminded people. Turn your dispair into action. Look at people around you. What do they need? What is a small thing that you can contribute right now. A small thing. Go do that. Believing that your actions matter and your contributions make a difference is a muscle you need to train.

Small things can be: Put up stickers. Talk to your neighbor. Looking up groups in your area. Bring food to someone who needs it. Help someone with groceries. Check in on a friend. Look into mutual aid programs in your area.

Every little kind action matters. It’s an antidote to dispare. Both for you and the people around you.

Consider how you can use your skills.

Help people away from META and on to the fediverse like Lemmy. People in my area are setting up hang outs where they help each other migrate platforms.

A lot of activists aren’t necessarily skilled with tech or social media. Is that something you can help with?

What do you do for work? No matter what you do, those skills are directly transferable and needed in your community.

Genuinely - There’s SO much super easy, practical stuff needed in your neighborhood, in your community, in your movement that would be SO easy to pick up and make SUCH a big difference. The biggest need is more hands. Always. You don’t have to know how to help. It becomes apparent SO quickly as soon as you step in the door.

There’s still a lot of work left to do. Keep fighting, cause there’s a lot worth fighting for.

There’s an awesome subreddit for trans tomboys ❤️ Looking through it always gives me so much life. I don’t know if there’s an equivalent on Lemmy

I disagree that the difference is the perception of alive

It’s possible to both hold on to the inherent value of human life and make space to grieve abortions, AND prioritize the physical and mental wellbeing of the women who (for whatever reason) can’t or won’t go through a pregnancy, adoption and/or being a parent

Even with the assumption that a fetus is human and alive, it is important to acknowledge how horrific and traumatic it can be to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term

The realities of pregnancy is still quite taboo, so many aren’t aware of the medical risks, physical strain, bodily changes and risk of death that can be involved with pregnancy and birth.

Reminder that marginalized people also experience higher maternal and newborn mortality, and childbirth and pregnancy has higher risks if you’re for example poor, black or both

It’s one thing to choose to go through nine months of bodily changes, an invasive medical precedure like birth, and recovery willingly. It’s another to go through it against your will.

Abortion rights very much comes down to the discussion of who’s rights, wellbeing and bodily autonomy comes first. The unborn child or the woman and the body carrying the child. As well as who has more right to a future of their choosing.

On top of that, there’s the important conversations of the future lives for both the unwanted child and parents, and the socioeconomic issues. Both in terms of the rich always having access to abortions, regardless of laws and general accessibility, so that poor and disenfranchised people overwhelmingly are the ones affected when pregnancies are forced to be carried to term. As well as how our system is set up so many unwanted kids grow up in poverty. And just… The questions about what qualifies well or badly suited parents, and what kind of life an unwanted child is gonna have.

Reducing abortion rights to the dehumanization of fetuses is missing the crux of the problem. Additionally, that reduction is part of the reason too many men who are careless, bordering on callus, when it comes to safe sex, cause they view the “removal of a bunch of non-alive cells” to be “no big deal”, ignorant to the impact both pregnancy, abortion and birth can have on women’s body and mind. As well as a potential child, of course, and not having to battle with the moral dilemma if human life and giving side for what could have been

There are people in my life who’ve had abortions, and people who chose to carry to term. It cannot be overrated how undeniably life-changing a child is - good and bad. It’s a massive, life long responsibility, that should not be taken lightly. For people who aren’t ready for that… I don’t wish that for anyone.

Tl;Dr Even with the presumption that life begins at conception, access to abortion is vital