Send in the Blade Runners!

I find if you use a pair of scissors to remove the nutsack first, then stepping in it becomes a lot easier.

I hope this ends up being a Four Seasons Landscaping saga, and Donnie just goes and stands in someone named Madison’s garden in New York State

They could drop down some fliers that said “thoughts and prayers”

I guess nuking Florida before the hurricane gets there would reduce the damage inflicted by the hurricane.

If you skip the air holes, you can claim Trump is both dead and alive, as long as no one opens the box. It is a win for both sides!

What kind of handicap do you need to be considered a good golfer?

Eating a dog or cat you have bred yourself would make PETA angry. Eating a beloved family pet of a true blooded hard working American would make a lot more people angry.

Yeah, but I don’t want to miss out on this human centipede forming

members of the group pointed guns at cars and told people to “go the fuck back to Africa”

Wow, way to highlight that you are a completely ignorant douchebag

Food, shelter, and a sub 2 second ping

I blame autocorrect 😞

“Until death do us part” … Yes, but who’s death?