But who will stop the northern hordes of Gog and Magog?

Do you have to actually hang out with them or can you just have a list of people you text once or twice a week when you are taking your daily shit? Asking for a friend of course because I totally do friend stuff all the time.

One time I got stopped by a police as I was using the pay phone in a diner waiting area. I been sitting in my car in the parking lot smoking bowls and reading all morning and needed to return a page. He was telling me he needed to detain me because someone had seen me breaking into a storage unit down the street a couple hours earlier.

I did’nt do it but I also couldnt tell him I’d been sitting in my car reading a book and smoking bowls when the Unit was robbed.

I gave him a story about being there all morning because my friend dropped me off and I couldn’t stay at his house while he was at work but he was supposed to pick me up soon. Cop told me he saw me in the parking lot and wanted to know where my car was. I told him again I didn’t drive and repeated my story and I’d just been out smoking a cigarette.

Another police shows up and the first one fills him in. First cop goes and finds the manager while the new cop watches me. I could hear them talking.

The manager heard me telling the cop my story and had a waiter take a cup of coffee over to the diner counter. He told the cop I was taking up a table all day and they had just moved me to the counter to free my table up and that I did that shit all the time and only ever drank coffee and maybe got some pie.

First cop comes back and tells the second I am free to go the manager collaborated my story. I walk over towards the diningroom and the waitress says “We moved your coffee to the counter hun so we could free up the table.”

The manager walked the cops out and then came over to me and told me I could hang out at the counter for as long as I needed before I left and the coffee was free.

I waited about an hour to give the police time to fuck off. While I waited I got to chatting with the manager and he told me he knew I was parking in the lot and reading a few times a week. I told him home was rough and he said even when it was busy I could come in and sit at the counter to read instead of sitting in my car. He didn’t need to know why I lied to the cop because fuck them.

And thats the long story of how a complete stranger lied to the police and gave me a safe space to read when I got stressed out at home.