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Cake day: July 19th, 2023

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  • I’ll second a sleep study. I’ve used a CPAP for 15 years, and after a few weeks I couldn’t sleep without it.

    I try to describe the difference to people by referencing the matrix. You know the weird, green-tinged, fake quality of the world prior to Neo waking up in his little pod? And then on the ship everything was just more real? That’s what the transition was like after a week of CPAP. I realized it wasn’t a normal thing to start nodding off at long stop lights, or have my mind uncontrollably drift away even during one-on-one, face-to-face conversations.

    I should say, though, I’m a moderate-to-severe case, and when I asked about surgery, the sleep doctor looked at me and said, “maxillo-mandibular advancement (shatter jaw and move it forward), septoplasty (nose surgery for deviated septum), and tonsillectomy. So surgeries.” Probably will do that, while I’m still in the military, but that I’m willing to suffer all that should tell you how not-fun CPAP is. But it’s considerably better than nothing.

    And as it relates to this article, when I was initially trying nasal pillows (cpap mask that just attaches to the nostrils), my mouth kept being forced open, even with a strap holding my jaw closed. My sleep doctor suggested taping my mouth shut, and that was a hard no from me. With the deviated septum, I only ever have one nostril open, and if I got a cold, I’d rather not wake up unable to breathe from ANY opening until I could get the tape off.







  • Yeah, high school is some of the worst times in my life. If my kid complained, I wouldn’t say “it only gets worse,” I’d say “this is a rough time, but remember, none of the stuff that is hard is real. It’s all just training. The school stuff is training you for deadlines and heavy workloads. The social stuff is training for personal and professional relationships. Try to think of this as the tutorial for life, where you must do X action to proceed, and maybe it’s hard because it’s new, and it’s frustrating because you don’t realize it’s a tutorial and think “this is the game.” It’s not. It becomes an open-world game after this. It’s harder, but it can be WAY better, and you have a lot more control.”


  • I once had a female coworker who was complaining about how she had walked in on a male coworker using the single-occupancy bathroom (peeing, his back was turned to the door), that him not locking the door was somehow inappropriate of him.

    Somebody put a poll up on a white board with the scenario, with question “who behaved inappropriately” with the choices “the person entering the bathroom without knocking” “the person using the bathroom without locking it” “they are both wrong” and “we’re all adults here, get the fuck over it.”

    The tallies were overwhelmingly in the “get the fuck over it” column. But I feel the poll was missing something important: the door had a tendency when locked to stick and leave the person locked inside. We were in a quick-response duty status (as in running to the aircraft), so the person already in should absolutely not have locked it (he was the runner).

    You see a closed door to a room (of relative privacy) that might be occupied, you knock. Simple as.


  • Also, telling a depressed person their answer is to exercise is like telling a homeless person that they just need to get a job. The not having a home prevents the getting a job. If they had the ability to find a job, they wouldn’t be homeless (except obviously the people who don’t make enough from their job to support themselves, but that’s a whole different issue that shouldn’t exist).

    So even if someone does have the time, getting the depression under control may be necessary before the exercise seems like a reasonable possibility.





  • My parents were wonderful, so I have no real complaints, but my father had a weird quirk. Tools, equipment, whatever that he had interest and purchased himself were “his.” I mean, obviously, but he would use the possessive when referring to those things.

    “You have to prime my lawnmower first before you try to start it.” “Go and get my ladder.” Never the ladder, always my ladder. I never questioned it (because I didn’t care), but when I was a teenager I started noticing it and it was odd. Like he was establishing that the lawn mower or the ladder or whatever didn’t belong to the household, they were his. And nothing seemed to get him worked up more than a neighbor borrowing something and taking more than a day or so to return it.





  • “I want you to notice… when I’m not around…”

    Cut to Harris smiling and waving with some of her campaign goals on screen

    “You’re so very special… I wish I was special…”

    Cut to Trump with his duck face pose, with various SA accusations, “grab them by the pussy” quotes, and 34 convictions.

    “But I’m a creep… I’m a weirdo…”

    Cut to Trump looking confused and tired.

    “What the hell am I doing here?”

    Cut to Trump standing awkwardly near previous presidents, or just a picture of presidents from both parties talking without him in it.

    “I don’t belong here…”

    Cut to sad dejected Trump

    “I don’t… belong… here.”