2bro2b

yooo, this is totally me when 👌👌👌

imagine alienating your child to the point where they feel this way, providing them access to guns, and then deciding to sue google when faced with the undeniable proof that you just couldn’t parent, this is a tru american florida story

what’s a power bottom in lesbian?

ugh, i read it in his voice

my mom came up with this absolute banger, super simple, easy to elevate if you feel like playing around

chicken (whatever floats your boat, i prefer bone-in skin-on thigh but my mom always used skinless breasts)

one jar of orange marmalade

3/4 a bottle of italian dressing

throw it in the white crockware and bake half an hour, turn on the broiler at the end if you feel nice, then serve with some plain rice with a hefty spoon of that juice over it, and any salad or green, i like a bomb garlicky sauteed broccoli, my mom always called it “orange chicken” and it makes for great leftovers even, hope you like it ^-

heyy, this guy right here just bought a pair of shoes, they’ve finally caved and decided to become a sneaker collector, you know what they’d definitely need? the same pair, they love these ones

what’s so bad about this movie?

if you’re lucky enough to be nearby, try taking her out to the movies and coffee after, once a week, it helped my mom and she’s even got her own litl circle of ladies now so i don’t have to go with her if i’m too busy

didn’t he shit on a woman or am i getting my scumbags mixed up?

schick? venus?

habeeb it

i take caffeine pills, i need the caffeine, but if i had to sit down and drink a whole cup of liquid, i find that i just don’t, i’m sure i could find the time for it but i don’t

you know, i’ve never tried it, but i do have faith that you are very wrong, wouldn’t you just suck the air through the straw too?

i have done my research and i personally choose to believe that they’re grumpin’ us, it sounds too good to not be true

hot dog (it’s not sausage because this is the US and there is no sage) flautas

don’t trust a cathboy either

dear onlookers, i swear i am not a furry, dear op, there is this app called Barq that i haven’t made any lasting friendships on, but the people i’ve connected with are weird enough that their interests are usually more likely to line up with mine, my most reliable pokemon go raid buddy i met through it, also i used an app for a bit called Meetup that had a lot of weekly events and stuff on it, went to a few game nights in random cafes around my town through it, so depending on your area that can help

yeah, you tell him! pootie will show him the business now, stupid kid

i never expected to still have such a visceral reaction to tgn twain, like if i ever hated anyone, it’s him and judge judy