funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 4 months ago"That's the last time I'll ever observe a Catholic holiday", Tom said unrelentingly.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up15arrow-down10
arrow-up15arrow-down1message-square"That's the last time I'll ever observe a Catholic holiday", Tom said unrelentingly.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 4 months agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 4 months ago"I'm ready, you can start drawing the portrait now", Tom said imposingly.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up12arrow-down10
arrow-up12arrow-down1message-square"I'm ready, you can start drawing the portrait now", Tom said imposingly.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 4 months agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 4 months ago"I managed to take over the throne AND to lose weight", Tom was thinkingmessage-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up17arrow-down10
arrow-up17arrow-down1message-square"I managed to take over the throne AND to lose weight", Tom was thinkingfunwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 4 months agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 7 months ago"There's one for each male child", Tom said personally.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up14arrow-down10
arrow-up14arrow-down1message-square"There's one for each male child", Tom said personally.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 7 months agomessage-square0fedilink
minus-squarefunwiththoughts@midwest.socialOPtoTom Swifty Jokes@midwest.social•"I think we should have more waterfowl", Tom said productively.linkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up3·10 months agoAlternatively: “Sure, he’s only an amateur – but he still managed to dodge it”, Tom said unproductively. linkfedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 10 months ago"I think we should have more waterfowl", Tom said productively.message-squaremessage-square1fedilinkarrow-up16arrow-down11
arrow-up15arrow-down1message-square"I think we should have more waterfowl", Tom said productively.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 10 months agomessage-square1fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 11 months ago"I'm going to take a break from claiming souls for a while", Death said, repressed.message-squaremessage-square1fedilinkarrow-up18arrow-down12
arrow-up16arrow-down1message-square"I'm going to take a break from claiming souls for a while", Death said, repressed.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 11 months agomessage-square1fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago"Lacking", Tom said without meaning.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up13arrow-down10
arrow-up13arrow-down1message-square"Lacking", Tom said without meaning.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"That faint odour just came back", Tom said reminiscently.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up14arrow-down10
arrow-up14arrow-down1message-square"That faint odour just came back", Tom said reminiscently.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"Trump needs a better running mate", Tom dispensed.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up14arrow-down11
arrow-up13arrow-down1message-square"Trump needs a better running mate", Tom dispensed.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"We are not cousins", Tom said unrelatedly.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up13arrow-down10
arrow-up13arrow-down1message-square"We are not cousins", Tom said unrelatedly.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"It looks like you, and it does everything you do, and yet it isn't you", Tom said on reflection.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up13arrow-down10
arrow-up13arrow-down1message-square"It looks like you, and it does everything you do, and yet it isn't you", Tom said on reflection.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"Tom got here after the other two", Tom said in third-person.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up11arrow-down10
arrow-up11arrow-down1message-square"Tom got here after the other two", Tom said in third-person.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"It's fair in this specific context", Tom said just in case.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up12arrow-down10
arrow-up12arrow-down1message-square"It's fair in this specific context", Tom said just in case.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"Well, Pumbaa, you should know that I've already bested your little friend at Battleship", Tom said sanctimoniously.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up13arrow-down10
arrow-up13arrow-down1message-square"Well, Pumbaa, you should know that I've already bested your little friend at Battleship", Tom said sanctimoniously.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"Large semi-aquatic herbivores are vital to the health of the ecosystem", Tom said hypocritically.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up12arrow-down10
arrow-up12arrow-down1message-square"Large semi-aquatic herbivores are vital to the health of the ecosystem", Tom said hypocritically.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"I might not have kids, but I can still self-identify as a father", Tom said transparently.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up11arrow-down10
arrow-up11arrow-down1message-square"I might not have kids, but I can still self-identify as a father", Tom said transparently.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"This whole dissertation is a load of crap", Tom said in abstract.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up12arrow-down10
arrow-up12arrow-down1message-square"This whole dissertation is a load of crap", Tom said in abstract.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"For your insolence in disrespecting me, I shall become a scourge upon your kingdom", Ishtar said urbanely.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up11arrow-down10
arrow-up11arrow-down1message-square"For your insolence in disrespecting me, I shall become a scourge upon your kingdom", Ishtar said urbanely.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"I come to pay respects to mighty Genghis", Tom contributedmessage-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up11arrow-down10
arrow-up11arrow-down1message-square"I come to pay respects to mighty Genghis", Tom contributedfunwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years ago"I have committed no crime", Tom pled in a sense.message-squaremessage-square0fedilinkarrow-up12arrow-down10
arrow-up12arrow-down1message-square"I have committed no crime", Tom pled in a sense.funwiththoughts@midwest.social to Tom Swifty Jokes@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 years agomessage-square0fedilink
Alternatively: “Sure, he’s only an amateur – but he still managed to dodge it”, Tom said unproductively.