Either way the nickname should be “Subway”.

“Did you meet Subway?” “… What?” “You gotta hear this story, dude! Gramma, tell Ricky your story!”

“Did you meet The Subway Murderer? Dude, don’t fuck with her, she runs this cell block.”

They don’t get anything out of calling him, so he doesn’t understand why they’d do it. Someone else told him it’s a nice thing to do and that acknowledging it is helpful to him.

Springfield copycats I bet.

First off, epic joyride. That’s how you end up with a nickname you get to explain when you’re 50.

Second off, we keep saying more people should take public transportation, and I feel this arrest sends a mixed message.

I tried the same thing, no luck. It was in 7th grade if I remember correctly - and that was 1984 for me so it’s been a minute. :)

The idea of choosing being served raw should be enough to track it down, and I’ve occasionally searched for it over the years, but…

The short story that sticks with me from junior high, that I have not been able to track down in the last 40 years or so, was if I remember right another lottery style tale. I think it was just the husband and the one chosen was eaten by the rest of the community - the twist was that the eatee got to choose the method of preparation, and in the story, he chose to be served raw. Anyone recall this story? I’d love to track it down.

It’s the lingerie that does it.

Yep, it’s the most R of them.

https://www.helmet.beam.vt.edu/equestrian-helmet-ratings.html

This is a good place to start for helmets. They have the same sort of ratings for different sports so if nothing in the equestrian list looks good, you should check the bicycle list. Note that it’s not necessarily current for everything but it’s a good starting point.

When a person has nothing left to lose they will take chances that otherwise they wouldn’t. If we weren’t living in a corporatocracy, perhaps there’d be no demand for this sort of thing, but we do and there is.

Barbara? Barbara Streisand? Is that you?

You have to ask the counter guy. They’re next to the muffler bearings and blinker fluid.

No Ice Pirates.

Well, now we know who will get the blame if he loses the state.