some of us may need a few days between the cries of “dont vote for harris, teach them a lesson” and “now is the time to join us in revolutionary action”. theres some lack of credibility going around this platform and the corporate media sources (news & social) are doing their best to maintain ad engagement. we are all staring down a decade of painfull experiances and it’s ok to take a breath sometimes.

nah i get it, i assumed good faith on your part as well. i skimmed through some threads in that sub and all i wanted to do was start jumping saying “guys just pause a second so we can talk about some of this language”. but thats absolutely not the place for me to do that.

it would be as productive as the guys who’d go into r/twoxchromosomes posting “explain like i’m 5 why my wife left over not doing the dishes enough”. assumimg good faith, i get he’s thinking “ok this is where other women who have done this talk, i’ll ask them”. there wasnt anyplace else to send the dude, so a few people would try responding. but it always devolved into language policing, because not doing so in that space would forfit the sub to the people it was designed to be safe from. i never commented in that space specifically because it was their sub and i was just there to understand perspectives. i was a guest in their home.

people need to be able to use the only words they know with the meaning they understand them to have. before they can do any self reflection or understand why it becomes important to adjust our language for eachother sometimes.

i spent all of a minute poking around. not a topic i deep dive in really. more hoping to pose the question of “hey do we maybe have a space like this?”. someplace where people having a shared perspective would have the patience for eachothers early questions they once had.

i’m not on reddit but a few minutes poking around there it doesn’t look crazypants. so i’ll add it to my comment too.

We have to do both things. we have to get everyone we possibly can paying attention and work on peaceful ways to move ideas forward. i’m gonna keep saying make unions the base of* the dems. and point to minnesota who still has the democratic farmer labor party and pulles off some neat* shit.

there simply are not enough people available to do it quickly. it always ends with the people we claim to want to help being hurt. and we end up piled on top of them by some authoritarian we made a deal with.

now if you want to discuss disruptive actions that could need to be taken over the next few years. especially while throwing out the word arming. i’d like to kindly remind you we are in an armed police state on a Public. Fucking. Server. and point out that molitivcocktail hour does not announce itself and is never the option WE choose.

fair point. sounds like theres a need for a space to have these conversations. with people effected by the topic and moded by people on the otherside of the joirney, who could have empathy in the difficult moments. anyone know of a space? i’ll try engaging where i can.

you’ve combined those midwest states like the british used to draw country boarders to keep groups fighting eachother. i have concerns.

half joke first. nobody’s trying to meddle in our bodily autonomy, yet.

edit: i havent looked too close at it but the mensliberation space on lemmy.ca may interest you? cancermancer down bellow has a rec for r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates that looks to have another good perspective in the topic. so im sticking it right here with the other.

I’ll try to approach the topic from my perspective as well. my gender has never really be part of my internal view of myself. but it is an inescapable part of how other people will see me, and the rules are always whatever the other person wants. so maybe not the poster child for speaking on masculinity. i’m literally the default charater generator in every videogame, but it’s just a hallucinating meat suit.

talking about gender concepts and social roles was a norm growing up because i did that growing up in the weird outside groups the christian kids chased. any reference to maculinity was done at me as an attack, even when i was doing it according to the rules. i agree, there are few places for young men to explore their way out of those strict views. especially in the early years. i’ve often seen them jump straight into spaces meant to be safe for people who’ve had not great experiances with the topic, especially women. and press other people to do all the work, explain things to them and navigate their often* harsh language. and i get it. when you’ve only ever been allowed to express 3 levels of the same emotion, it’s gonna be rough sorting that out.

it’s going to be on people who have worked their way through that mind set to make those places for kids to start the process. most importantly, people who share their experiance and perspective. yes folls like me can and really need to come in there and talk openly. but my own experiance is never going to line up in a way that will connect with those kids. even when i look exactly like our experiance should line up.

…if theres more spelling mistakes then there are more spelling mistakes. fuck it thats too much text for a phone

trump voters don’t make any* deflections on who they are. the cruelty IS what they vote for. it’s not gonna break the republican party, it’s what they’ve been asking for. Trump just tapped into it. can’t do anything about those fuckers and trying isnt worth it.

I want to look at the people who just sat this round out because it wasn’t exciting and wouldnt really harm them. going back to “this isnt who we are” as a culture and pleading with them is not gonna work.

it’s literally what mega just got done doing.

the neat part is now we get both genocides.

been a little busy up to this morning trying to talk friends and family on the left into participating in the thing. my plan didn’t work. the protest voters and unmotivated who wont be harmed by any of this won. congrats. now we still* have to do all the plans too? no plan for after the protest votes got dreamed up? i’m shocked. i’ll be busy for the next few weeks now talking my queer friends and family out of their very real panic and making sure their mental health is ok. then theres still a perfectly good political party sitting there i’d like to get back to hijacking please. it’s right fucking there. why do we all keep acting like we need to burn it down and start over. just take their toys.

well this sure showed the dems didn’t it. sure there’ll be some acceptable losses under trump. but thats ok if get the chance to do what exactly? watch the genocide get less media attention as it continues? watch violent crackdowns on any protests? make a convincing graph showing the increase in queer kids not doing the alive thing anymore? whats the grand plan? bitch about the dems in the mid* terms if they still happen?

big bang theory probably had the biggest fall off for me. was something that my ex wife and i always had on in the background. law&order on tnt aired less frequently than we watched big bang theory. the ball of anxiety bits appealed to her and sheldon got a lot of lines that made me laugh. our entire social circle was shitty to eachother like the characters, so it seemed normal. post divorce we’ve stayed close friends but both emptied out our social circles and restarted. that show has come up a few times and neither of us can finish a full episode anymore.

sitcoms all feel gross these days though. new girl is really the only one i can still enjoy.

extremely jealous of the ‘ope, i voted’ one.

alot of us in that millenial range who were “spared” the diagnosis or just missed, are less likely to fight doctors on the topic as well. more doctors are better informed on newer information about autism. add to that, some of us paying attention to that information and expecting better lives for our kids then we or our undiagnosed parents got.

my mom spent the first 3 years after my sons diagnosis sending me lists of reasons i should give the doctors to say they were wrong. that finally stopped when she “offered parenting advice” on getting him to stop some visible stims. i stopped humoring her perspective and started silently making way too intesne eye contact inwas forced to learn, with no expression, until she got uncomfortable and left. for decades after “discovering” autistics existed, there were fewer autistics because we said there were fewer autistics.

It can in fact thunderstorm and snow at the same time. can even do it while alternating between rain and snow causing layers of ice hidden in snow. if you’re moving to a place that does this, just stay in doors and enjoy the show. if it’s one of the regions that can also spawn tornados during these storms. you watch the storm on tv from a basement.

oh i dont see it in the comments yet. all of which are great. proper snow boots. even it only snows a little where you are. just because i can walk across an ice rink on leather soles doesnt mean i’m ever going to. if the experiance of walking on ice and snow is new, use footwear meant to help you from slipping. plus they hold up better to road salts and deicing chemiclas if they’re used there.

jellyfin means you can skip plex, its the same thing. let me see if i can anger some fellow olds. jellyfin is the opensource community giving plex the middle finger it deserves. plex having forked from xbmc an eon ago to be the mac version of xbmc, but then it became a company. i paid for a lifetime plex membership like 10 yrs ago, so i’ve just been lazy about switching.

Nice! syncthing look pretty great when i played with it. my new raid replaced a jbod and box of salvaged laptop disks as it’s archive. got 6 people using my plex server and telling them downtime would be far less frequent was a nice distraction in the group text from “also i’m movin to jellyfin this summer”.

thats fair, it is a wait and see kinda gamble. all my working drives including replacements had about 2.5yrs run on them. the bad batch was all 3.5 yr range. one never powered on, the others dropped within 24 hours. that extra year age could be less the cause itself, as likely they were pulled from the same datacenter and the issue with the drives was more how they were treated at that datacenter.

usecase matters too. this raid with used drives is my media server and uptime was a factor. my nextcloud is a pair of new 8tb drives plus an rsync to a backup. which i could afford to do by going used where i can. (and before my selfhosting friends here boo nextcloud, its the only web ui my elderly parents could use on their own. so calm down ya clowns)

awesome write up!

Just did a raid 10 off cheap 12tb datacenter drives myself. sure i had to return 3 to get a working set plus a spare. but thats why you take the time to check them. ALWAYS test your used drives. the resellers churn through batches of these things in the hundreds. sometimes you get lucky and they all work, sometimes half your order just got pulled from a bad batch and you spend a half hour getting them exchanged.