French Tripods? Ulla-la.

Kids that age ain’t stupid though just confused spirits

That’s why parents should exorcise their children for at least 60 minutes per day.

There’s a bug in the rule.

Former President Donald J Trump has more important things on his mind when he wakes up. Like saving the economy, securing the borders, and hoping his bladder holds out while playing his daily game of hunt the mushroom.

Whilst that’s a possible explanation, correlation does not imply causation. There are many other potential contributing factors (increased loneliness, economic hardship, acceptability of suicide, changes to how deaths by misadventure vs suicide are recorded, etc) and more research will be needed to identify which, if any, played a role in the observed change.