What qualities do you covet?
Patience.
Everywhere I go people meander like zombies whether it’s walking, driving, shopping, etc. I can’t figure out why people are soooooo slow, do they have nothing to accomplish? It constantly puts me off, but it’s probably because I moved to a big city in the west (US) coast.
I’m great, so I wish I had more money.
I wish I were more handy or had the mindset for tinkering and doing mechincal repairs. I lack the focus and spatial awareness to look at something, diagnose the problem, and effectively repair it or jury-rig a solution around it.
Same. Always been a dreamer and creative person, just never practical. Although, having the spirit is the first step, right?
Try learning to code a bit if its of interest to you. It will MAKE you into a tinkerer, driven by the thrill of the squashing of the bug and getting the outputs va inputs that you want and is correct
That I had all the energy needed to do things that make me happy. I have a lot of commitments that are more important but less fun than my hobbies. Every time I have to deal with those, it saps my energy for fun things.
I wish I were less anxious/self-conscious. It’s weird because outwardly almost no one knows that I am. I’m charismatic and easy to talk to, a natural leader in the workplace (I’ve managed now at every job I’ve held) and I’m a loving and supportive father. But deep down I’m still self-conscious as hell. I experience a lot of spotlight syndrome and I feel like I dress frumpy, walk weird, etc. I have a lot of social anxiety and think every situation/confrontation is going to be a worst-case scenario. Had to take 5 weeks off of work for a stress fracture and allowed myself to believe leading up to it that my (typically supportive) boss was going to be angry or petty or challenge me over it. He was extremely supportive and told me to just take the time off and not to worry about putting out the fires at work.
I don’t know how I conditioned myself to be like this. Probably a side-effecting of growing up fat and all the self-hate that came with it. I got rid of the fat a lot time ago, but I don’t think that shit ever really left me. Fortunately my daughter does not share my lack of confidence. That kid is miles ahead of her peers and I’m so proud of her.
Normal joints
Mine are slightly misshapen due to genetics and this causes more frequent strains and injuries. It’s a ticking time bomb for me needing really expensive surgery :(
I wish I could dance. I have rhythm, just not with my body.
Wish I could negotiate and haggle, I just don’t want to, it doesn’t feel good to me. I’d rather accept or refuse the offer and move on.
Do you tend to struggle with people pleasing as well or is it limited to negotiation?
It’s more to do with honesty. If the seller says it’s worth this much and that’s what they need to charge to cover their costs, then I would like to think that’s true because if it isn’t, they’re lying.
I think this might be where it comes from for me, too. If you say it’s with x, and I think it’s worth z, I don’t want to insult you or assume you’re trying to scam me by asking for x, but I also don’t want to pay much more than z.
The concept of some mystical “y” living in the middle is lost to me and it’s socially impossible to reach “y” without me calling you a scammer or you calling me cheap, so no deal will be made today.
Limited to negotiation.
Beauty
I wish I was happy. Not even all of the time, just some?
Athleticism and the ability to be sufficiently social.
That I was as socially confident as other people seem to be, I don’t care if it’s all a facade, I want to be able to use the facade.
Like with most skills, one becomes confident with practice.
I’m a natural introvert and an only child and therefore has little practice of taking to others. I had no idea of how important small talk is. I learned by working in a bar, where social interaction can’t really be dodged and found out that social interaction isn’t that daunting as it seemed to me.
It still not my biggest hobby yet I’m not longer afraid of social interaction like I used to be.
What helps me is knowing that everyone is fucking awkward.
I’ve met thousands upon thousands of people and I have never met anyone who is not socially awkward, just a lot of people who are socially skilled in different ways.
The people who don’t come across as awkward are the people who acknowledge their awkwardness and own it, who give themselves an opportunity to fumble with their awkwardness and to get used to it the same way you do with any other difficult thing like math or reading or studying or dance or games.
I said all of that to say, not being awkward is not a talent, it is a skill, and you can learn it.
Wish I wasn’t depressed and anxious so I could do what normal people seem to do normally every they meanwhile it takes me a week if I have better episode.
I sometimes wish I could be social without feeling mentally and physically drained.
Same, its always seems to take a toll no matter how well it goes or how much I like the others
Good health. But alas.
