I’ve designated one room in my house to be an Airplane Mode room. Technically it has WiFi but whenever I’m in it I behave as if my phone didn’t have any reception. Believe it or not, actively pretending that your phone has no WiFi works better than just passively putting on airplane mode. I always get a sense of calmness when I enter.
What artificial limits do you impose on yourself that ultimately enrich your life?
Edit: changed title
No alcohol at home. 4 drinks a day max except once a month. I’m still an alcoholic and I don’t plan to quit drinking, but my therapist and I think I’ve got it under control after 3 years of these rules.
Setting limits like that is how I finally quit eating Percocet. First only 3 in the morning… At lunch, and again in the evening… Then 2 at lunch… Then 2 at lunch and evening… Then 2 across the board… And so on, until I was only taking 1 a day. Each step down was when I felt like it… Not necessarily on any schedule. Just when I thought I could do it. It wasn’t easy… Mind you. It was just do-able. For the record… This was down from like 3-5 at a time… Whenever I wanted them. I’m a decade sober and haven’t touched an opiate since. It took me a time to feel normal, but the only day that really sucked for a minute was the day I told myself I wasn’t going to take even my 1. Your liver will thank you. You will be proud of your accomplishment. It’s worth it.
So one AFD a month or one day unlimited?
One unlimited day. I already don’t drink most nights and I rarely ever use the unlimited day.
Whenever there’s elections I wait for somebody to mention the result in conversation unprompted and find out that way, to stop myself from doom scrolling
I ignore the results until they’re all in as well. The time to worry and do things is before the ballots are cast.
Stop responding to text messages a much as possible after 9pm. Really helped my sleep and staying sane.
1 hour every night i can do anything i want that includes no electronics. I usually just sit and think things through and it has helped a lot with my anxiety.
I never use escalators. I always take the stairs. It is usually faster, and the little bit of extra cardio is always a good thing
Guess more of a reminder than a rule but: “ambiguous behaviour is not aggressive behaviour”.
After a long, unhealthy relationship, I ended up in a very promising relationship.
It took many years if half truths to her, and then full disclosures, and eventually, a full and total disclosure of my past, my desires, my weaknesses, the whole lot.
She barely flinched. She saw me for who I was / am.
From that moment we bonded deeper than I’ve ever thought possible.
Nobody could hijack us. Nothing could try to surprise us and derail / damage us. Shame was thrown out the window. There is none. We know everything. We meet as honestly as is possible each day.
Do it. I highly recommend it. However, there was a right time. If we’d done it too early, we wouldn’t have worked.
So with that backstory. Always telling the truth to my partner. No matter how scary it seems.
Truth, truth, truth.
So you are into pegging. We know brah!
It’s tots normal my man. We all are, we all love it. You were just living under a rock.
Good thing your woman has patience.
Happy for you and your dom gurl!As someone who has a lot of trauma and is going through something similar with a new partner, it’s so freeing just having someone get me.
For relationships: “Is what i’m about to say/do benifical to me, this person, or the relationship?”
If not, maybe it is me ego or hurt feelings, and so I should ignore it for now and if I feel the need to, I can later analyse it and decide again.
Also, never go hungry or emotional to the grocery store.
“Is it true, is it kind, is it necessary?” Shoot for two but make sure it’s at least one. And if you ever by chance come across a trifecta, don’t let it escape unsaid!
I also notice working in mental healthcare that a lot of my coworkers have realized some of the patients really do need “tough love” but they don’t realize that the Love part is critical. And it’s obviously not romantic love but also not even love in any personal sense. It’s love in the better version of the Bible sense where you should love your fellow human beings. When you say something that someone isn’t going to like hearing for their own good, you need to start with a practical statement of why you’re saying it out of love.
So I’ll say “I don’t just want to give you ice cream today; I want you to know how to ask other people when you leave here. I’m going to give you about fifteen minutes to go to your room and breathe, then you can come back and get in line and ask again.” While some of my coworkers will just say “no I’m not gonna let you talk to me like that” which isn’t wrong, but also isn’t actually tough love because they forgot the love.
Refusing to use social media like Snapchat, Instagram & Twitter. Major downside is my generation is mostly using them so I know fewer Zoomers on the Fediverse but honestly, I would take that over me comparing my body to guy’s fitness picture and feeling insecure about it. Also, I barely interact with people I know in my high school and I to some extent, wish to be forgotten from them. Some really have messed with my mental health, that’s all I will say.
Yeah I find like spending time on discord servers/WA chats etc. is much better than scrolling feeds
Time limits on apps where I tend to have arguments on politics
My rule as of late has been to not try to argue with political opponents unless it’s in person. Online it just feels like a time sink (theres an infinite amount of opponents to persuade), plus being face to face ensures some level of civility.
If you’re thinking about something that takes less than 2 minutes, you should just be doing it. I will admit I got this from one of those productivity guys
Go outside for 3 miles a day minimum 6 days a week. Can be bike, walk, run, ski, hike, etc. I usually do quite a bit more but this has kept me in great shape and it really helps with my focus and productivity.
Mines similar, at least 20 mins walk (or slow jog/cycle if I’m feeling energetic) per day every day, but usually end up doing 45mins+ which is about 2.5-3miles. Managed to keep that up for 2 years straight now, even when ill (just about).
I have M.E/CFS & it took a good 5+ years to build up to that, symptoms are thankfully fairly mild these days, I think partly because of the daily activity, however slow I feel I need to go.
Plus also now make sure I hit 10k plus steps daily this year which has helped keep me motivated to go further on days I might have kept it to only 20 mins.
As well as helping keep a baseline of fitness it’s done wonders for my general mood & mental health overall, seem to be far more stable across the board, & I feel being out even briefly is a big part of that.
Actively look to “give glory” or kudos to people around you.
On a practical level, be it an opposing force opponent, or even someone on your own squad - like a family member - looking to give glory encourages me to engage with my environment on a real level when I’m drifting off or getting lost. I’m trying to connect with the intentions of others while still trying to achieve my own. These don’t have to be lose-lose situations, and they shouldn’t be either.
If I can compliment someone on a tactic or a response committed under stress, I’m trying to say I see the other person. I’m also saying honestly that the action was valid, and others can understand my position without guessing. In a world where some feel they have to live by deception or seek glory for themselves exclusively, simply validating someone else gives strength and encourages others to tough out their positions in the face of toxicity.
You’re also forcing a change of perspective, and refraining from dwelling on the faults of others or yourself.
Even if the kudos goes to the opposition, I’d rather compliment someone I believe I can work with, and build mutual respect.
Go outside at least once a day when I don’t need to be outside.
Professionally, never bitch down or laterally. If you’re going to bitch up, do so in private.
…I think that was from some war movie… Saving Private Ryan? But fuck if it isn’t solid advice!
