If you read my previous post on other place I asked about dating and most responses sounded like it was nice. Yes, I’m aware that relationships are not only good times (I’ve seen my mother being tired of her partner and scared of my father) but when you have literally NOTHING in your life you can’t help to idolising the things you never had…

I don’t think that’s weird, but it’s definitely sad

  • Sundial@lemm.ee
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    13 days ago

    Why have you convinced yourself that you have nothing and that you need to be in a relationship to have something?

    • Platypus@lemmings.worldOP
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      13 days ago

      Joining with the other sex and reproduction is literally the main purpose of all living beings, regardless of their level of intelligence or levels of consciousness of creating things like society and religions. When you don’t have that as your adulthood passes you feel like a failure, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

      • Sundial@lemm.ee
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        13 days ago

        Your main purpose is whatever you make it out to be. Happiness doesn’t come from a relationship or your ability to procreate. Look inwards. Ask yourself what don’t you like about your life? What do you have the power to change?

        • Platypus@lemmings.worldOP
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          13 days ago

          What I don’t like my life? The fact I’m unable to attract anyone. Change? Nothing, I’m already suffering

          • Sundial@lemm.ee
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            13 days ago

            You won’t magically be happy if you’re in a relationship. Remove that expectation from yourself. Go do something you personally enjoy. Hiking, reading, games, cooking, baking, etc. Whatever it is, just enjoy it. That’s what life is. Whatever you choose to make it to be.

              • Sundial@lemm.ee
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                13 days ago

                Just do whatever makes you happy. And if you have anyone on your life (family, friends, etc), then reach out. You don’t have to pour your heart if you don’t want. Just talk to them. Ask them how their day was. What did they have to eat today. Socialize. You can always start conversations here or in other communities if you feel like you want to do that instead.

                You’re not unhappy because you’re single. Plenty of people are in relationships and are unhappy. You saw that yourself with your parents. You need to stop making a relationship seem unachievable and having it tied to your happiness and sense of self worth.

      • Comptero@lemmy.world
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        12 days ago

        Thats not a reason why you feel that way. It’s a pseudo science excuse for it.

        Dig deeper to your true feelings.

      • MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        13 days ago

        We are more than our instincts. But sure, I acknowledge that following some instinctual drives can give some satisfaction.

        For example: I made a choice to not have children and I am happy with my choice. I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything. It’s actually quite the opposite. While I see my peers raising little shits, I get to stay a little shit and embrace my inner child. It’s half a selfish choice because I want my life to be better, and half a compassionate choice because the world doesn’t need new children for its meat grinder.

        If I had little choice and was forced onto a path, that would be disheartening. So I get you.

      • Joining with the other sex and reproduction is literally the main purpose of all living beings…

        This reductive view doesn’t help you and, indeed, probably hurts your chances of getting what you so desperately want.

        Drop this focus on sex and, ironically, you’ll have a better chance of having it. We can generally tell when a guy wants us only for orificial insertion; that’s a bigger turn-off than almost anything.

        As others have said (that you didn’t bother to respond to) work on yourself before you start working on getting others. And in your case I would strongly recommend getting professional evaluation for possible clinical depression before it literally kills you.