So, call it selection bias of scrolling Lemmy all day (FUCK YOU REDDIT!), but there seems to be a running theme/joke that I see in comment threads all the time. Someone will say how they did something with their friends. Then someone else will make the self deprecating joke “You guys have friends?”.

Or I’ll see a post where the main point of the post is making fun of the idea of themselves not having friends.

So, I’ve been drinking, and I thought to myself “Hey, What if we ALL became a big massive friend group???”

Last I checked (which was months ago) Lemmy has 63k active monthly users. So I figure maybe 5 people will see this post. We could all be 5 friends together!!! You guys like hockey??? I like hockey. My neighbor doesn’t like hockey, but that’s because I’m watching my Tivo at 2am yelling PASS THE FUCKING PUCK!!! OH MY GOD!!! ARE YOU PLAYING FOR THE OTHER TEAM YOU FUCKWIT??? GOD DAMN THIS COACH NEEDS TO JUST START HITTING YOU WITH BELTS!!! WHAT WAS THAT???

And so now my neighbor doesn’t like hockey. But maybe we could all buy houses on the same street, and we all support each other. Do you have kids? Of coarse not! Kids are awful, and smelly, and expensive! Plus they continue the human race. Who would want THIS species to continue???

Maybe we should all go to a party, and ALL bring strippers and mashed potatoes. Can you imagine hosting a potluck, and there’s just TOO MUCH mashed potatoes, and not much variety in food choice, but TONS of variety if you want a lap dance! Can you imagine???

Yeah! This sounds like a great plan! You guys want to move to Cleveland?

  • ChihuahuaOfDoom@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    5 days ago

    I don’t know much about hockey unfortunately but I can’t sleep so I thought I might reply anyway. I don’t think I’ll be moving to Cleveland anytime soon but I’ll probably go to the rock and roll hall of fame this coming summer when I visit family in Akron. Oh and if we’re having a potluck I’ll bring the potatoes.

    Also to address the no friends thing, in real life I have exactly one person I would actually call a friend and he lives across the country. I have a girlfriend and work friends but no one to actually hang out with or really talk to aside from my aforementioned online friend and girlfriend, it’s fucking lonely. I have no idea how to make friends anymore and now that I’m in my 40s I doubt I ever will.