Since tomorrow is Christmas I thought I would post this in case you have any MAGA relatives who will be over.
I just let the MAGA in-law talk at me for a while, then move on.
I’m not trying to deprogram anyone. Fuck 'em. They can burn in the hell they voted for.
I don’t think voting for or not voting for Trump would have made any difference. Trump is a billonare and your uncle or dad or mom or whatever would probably become homeless if they were hit by a car. So it doesn’t actually matter if you deprogram them.
Secondly I think your uncle or dad or mom is probably just an asshole and isn’t in a cult or brainwashed. This is just the new thing they’re being an asshole about, because it gives them a lot of emotional gratification and it’s popular. I’ve got a relative who believes every doomsday conspiracy based on which one is trending. I think it’s like that. If I deprogrammed him from one conspiracy, he’d move onto another. If it’s not the poles shifting, it’s nuclear winter, etc, weirdly never climate change.
But yeah. I think these ‘brainwashed’ people are just people who enjoy being insufferable and if they were given a different type of reinforcement, they’d just be insufferable in a Leftist space too. They’d be the type of person who doxes teenage girls on twitter because they think a white girl learning spanish for school is cultural appropriation or whatever. How about these people are just douchebags? That’s what I try to do when I shame them for this stuff, I try to make it about how they’re being a douchebag and an attentionwhore generally, about how they’re giving the same energy as the ex alcholic or ex con who needs to keep mentioning Jesus. At a certain point even if youre a follower of Jesus you get sick of hearing about how this ex addict is morally superior for worshipping the diety that the majority of Americans also worship, but because they always deflect onto Jesus, its hard to criticize the behavior, so you’ve got to be specific about what they’re actually doing.
Jesus isn’t real and your vote doesn’t matter, so deprogramming them from the totally meaningless belief isn’t really the issue, the issue is that the behavior is unacceptable and disruptive.
The article means well. But, after 10 years of Trump, a lot of families don’t even talk to each other anymore if there is a political divide. Mine doesn’t. Families are literally split on this.
Yeah I haven’t talked to my sibling in several years now. When we did talk they’d always force it into some weird mind game trying to get me to say contradictory things then grill me on it, didn’t matter what we started with. Communication went downhill because I just didn’t want to have to be prepared for an unhinged debate any time we talked about anything. Finally stopped after I found out they are anti vax; now they’re a transphobe too and well I’m trans. I’m not going to try and fix that bridge they can die scared of the world
Good deprogramming tricks but I’m over deprogramming, if they’re still hopeless at this point its going to take more behavioral science know how than I can safely provide. Im a good shot though so I’ll be prepared one way or another.
The article appears to list multiple things.
I cut ties with my maga father the day after Election Day last year.
Sounds peaceful
All my kids are grown and off on their own this year. So it will be me, my wife, and our dogs and cats. Very peaceful.
Ohhh yeah. I’m down to one close relative (the rest have died in the past 12 years - it’s been a dozen years of shit, actually) and husband and I are having our first non-family filled Christmas. Tomorrow, I’m gonna get up and throw a roast in the slow cooker, give husband his gifts and chill and play video games. Maybe even nap in the afternoon.
From the first year I shacked up with the boyfriend, (whom I eventually married) we travelled to my aunts, uncles and grandparents homes each and every year. The trifecta was one year we had Thanksgiving dinner at in-laws at noon sharp, at 2:30 we were on our way to grandmother’s in Connecticut for dinner at 5, then at 7:30 we drove up to Maine for 10:30 pm Thanksgiving dinner with auntie (they were the night owl side of the family) in southern Maine.
It was amazing and exhausting and one of the most culinary diverse Thanksgivings I’ve had.
Overcooked dry turkey at in-laws, prime rib at grandma’s and turkey and pork golumkis at aunties… Fun times… but yeah… Tonight is nice here just pecking away online with the radio in the background singing it’s holiday songs…
It’s glorious.
Same here with my MAGA parents.
The only way to defeat these assholes is to socially isolate them.
I’d argue its a moral obligation to socially isolate these fools wherever and whenever possible. If they actually loved you, they wouldn’t have voted away your future
The one thing I’m glad of is that I’ll never lose contact with any of my kids over politics unless they’re the ones who turn crazy because compassion is the cornerstone of my parenting (with teaching them to respect their boundaries a strong second place).
You’re probably not the kind of parent that has to worry about this, because those that do feel that obedience is the cornerstone of parenting.
From there, the person you’re speaking with will understand that you’re truly listening and trying to understand, which can help to build a respectful relationship that can allow for further dialogue.
It won’t though, which is why I cut off ties to anyone in the MAGA cult.
Well, that, and cut the MAGA shitheads out of your will. Don’t leave a penny to fascists.
I sort of feel the same emotion when asked to sympathize with someone I have fundamentally disregarded as a person. Like, if someone robs me, I don’t want to hear about how they did it because they were bullied in middle school. I don’t give a fuck first of all, and second of all…it’s just not relevant. Dude did not rob me because he was bullied in middle school, he robbed me because he wanted my money or posessions…he’s just lying because he’s a shithead trying to exploit empathy he expects me to have in order to get away with said crime.
Maybe none of these people have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (a psychological illness which causes profound suffering to the affilicted in the form of self-distructive behavior such as eating disorders, substance use, or gambling usually in addition to acting like a douchebag to loved ones) or are in cults or are under any sort of mind control. Maybe they’re just assholes. Your Trump supporting Uncle didn’t make Trump happen. The manufactured consent makes things easier but the consent or lack of consent of an impovrished peasent population doesn’t really make a difference. It can make things easier but I can’t imagine it being much of a dealbreaker.
This article is such bullshit. I feel this pressure often, like I’m always being asked to empathize with people who are kicking me in the nuts.
Nah, they can go fuck themselves.
I mean yeah, but this approach presupposes a bunch of things that usually dont exist:
- A prior, deep relationship
- genuine care for the other party
- willingness to engage
- all parties sober
Additionally, its really hard to debate things with nutters because they’re usually well versed in their special interest while I merely rely on the advice of experts. For example, an anti-vax person might reference various studies and research. I can assume they’ve been debunked or taken out of context, but I don’t know those studies or any relevant research.
My favoured approach is to merely ask what evidence it would take to change their mind. In the majority of cases their answer is something that just isn’t practically possible, or includes caveats that would allow them to disclaim such evidence if provided.
Something unfalsifyable is not science, that’s faith. At least then you know there’s no point debating them.
40 to 50% of American voters still think Trump is doing a good job despite what the experts are suggesting. I feel that this experts only serve some nefarious group who gaslight everyday people into trying to like some fachist relative … since 2016
It’s around 41-42% right now but I think we can make it past 40 which is the level where impeachments and losing elections become possible.
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… So anyway pass the peas grandma.
