I lost a relative recently and I’ve been struggling with the grieving aspect. I haven’t cried or gotten visceral anger. I’m mostly just generally unpleasant right now. Impatient, easily annoyed and lack energy. Part of it is the cognitive dissonance associated. The individual was complicated, more good in the world overall, but, undeniably a lot of bad too.
I just go through it just fine. Normally, I accept that death is part of life, of which itself is a terminal disease. As it’s said, life is the biggest cause of death.