So… I got my diver’s license as soon as I turned 18. It was a very stressful period of my life, and I hated everything about driving. They promised me freedom, but I got shackled.

Passing the exam as a nightmare (took me 3 attempts) and even during the lessons the professor saw how horribly tense I was. I got sick just by thinking about the car.

Once I passed, my family decided that I’d get over my fears by forcing me to drive, every single day, for weeks, with the whole family in the car, yelling, mocking me…

I had several panic attacks that were dismissed as lack of maturity, and I stopped driving. It’s been years.

But now I’m going to have to get better at this due to circumstances, and I’m scared.

I feel that I can’t focus on all the elements of the road, I have a very hard time calculating distances because I’m very short (edit: 1’50m, if that is relevant) and barely see above the wheel, I have to move the seat so close to the wheel that I fear that if one day the airbag jumps, I’ll suffocate. My blind spots seem infinite.

My car is automatic, so no stick to worry about.

If you have read all I wrote, I’ll greatly appreciate any advice or encouragement. Thank you

  • switcheroo@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    2 months ago

    I remember the advice of “don’t stare at the car in front of you” and “always keep your eyes moving” when I first started out and felt bad because I couldn’t stop doing just that.

    So I am going to say it’s okay to be watching the road lines and the distance to the car in front of you. You will with time find your eyes flicking about watchfully but when you are a new driver, it is tough! So don’t be hard on yourself if you find you keep doing those two things— those two things are very important.

    If you feel flustered, pull over and sit (safely! Use blinker!). Driving while hyperventilating or crying is no bueno for anyone (been there don’t that). Try driving familiar places till those are second nature to you, then branch out to the city you live.

    • howler@lemmy.zipOPEnglish
      2·
      2 months ago

      What do you mean with ‘don’t stare at the car in front of you’?

      • dustycups@aussie.zone
        2·
        2 months ago

        For people who have been driving for a while it’s the main thing they have to look out for. Next time you’re a passenger stuck in traffic check them out. Its like a zombie with a phone.
        Bad awareness == bad driving.

      • sem@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        4·
        2 months ago

        Look around to check the situation around you, while switching back to looking in front if you often. Look ahead of the car in front of you. Look to the sides. What is coming up on the road?

        Look in the left side mirror. Has anything changed back there? Look in the rear view mirror. Look in the right side mirror.

        I’m switching back and forth between the mirrors and looking forward, and trying to maintain good situation awareness of my surroundings, as a defensive driving strategy. Know what is coming up ahead of you and behind you. Which most of the time is nothing, but let’s say you notice a motorcycle suddenly appear in the rear view mirror during one of your routine glances. Then you see them change to the right lane. You can ‘predict’ that they’ll pass you going very fast on the right (which is bad practice) but it won’t be as startling because you knew they were coming.

        Or let’s say you’re driving, and you look ahead down the road and you notice a traffic light. If the light turns yellow, you can start slowing down even before the car ahead of you does, if you want.

        After you practice it for a while, it will become second nature to maintain situational awareness.