If you really want “beast of Satan” territory (imo, Poltys are just very cryptic):
For behavior, I’m going to appeal to the Brazilian wandering spider which is extremely aggressive, likes to hide in human living spaces, is mobile, and is severely venomous (including causing a painful priapism).
For prey, going with the Goliath birdeater. I think tarantulas are cute, but this one has the legspan of a fucking dinner plate, weighs up to like a 1/5 of a kilo, has a massive body, has 4 cm fangs, and is large enough to prey on small terrestrial vertebrates.
For sheer vibes, going with the giant huntsman spider. It lives in caves in Laos, has a legspan of up to 30 cm like the Goliath birdeater (but proportionally smaller body, amplifying the creepiness), was only discovered in 2001 despite being so huge, and as a huntsman is probably fast as fuck. Unsure about the venom; I’ve never researched it.
See also: trapdoor spiders.
Not putting any of these images here in case anyone’s arachnophobic. Exposure therapy only works if you build yourself up to it, and I don’t want anybody to miss out on a chance to come to appreciate spiders.
I’ve seen a massive huntsman spider in Australia. I was trimming palm fronds with a saw on an extended pole and one palm frond hit the tree trunk on the way down. The huntsman managed to safety land on the tree trunk while the frond fell to the ground.
That spider was way bigger than my hand and demonically fast. Was super cool to see such a big one.
It’s nice that they are generally chill around people. I had a much smaller one living in my room’s air conditioning unit. It always came out at night and chilled on the wall while I slept and disappeared during the day.
I never handled a huntsman but I was never really bothered by them during my time in Australia.
Huntsman venom is paralytic and wouldn’t kill you if bitten. The giant huntsman reportedly will just make you nauseous and leave a painful and swollen bite.
If you really want “beast of Satan” territory (imo, Poltys are just very cryptic):
Not putting any of these images here in case anyone’s arachnophobic. Exposure therapy only works if you build yourself up to it, and I don’t want anybody to miss out on a chance to come to appreciate spiders.
TIL we eat Goliath Bird Eating Spiders and they taste like shrimp
Who is this ‘we’?
Them, you and i? There are 3 of us at least.
I don’t eat spiders! I’d have to be really hungry to try, too. I’d try crickets and other bugs before spiders for sure.
I know some cultures eat spiders on the regular, but the creepy factor is too strong for me.
I also don’t eat spiders, for the same reason and also why would i eat a fucking spider?
I was only being silly.
I saw a documentary about a town in Thailand, where spiders were pretty much the local cuisine. They said they tasted somewhat like chicken.
I don’t doubt that they could be tasty. There is just a mountain of ‘ick’ to get through first for me. lol
For USAians, a fifth of a kilogram is 200 grams, almost two quarter pounder burgers.
I’ve seen a massive huntsman spider in Australia. I was trimming palm fronds with a saw on an extended pole and one palm frond hit the tree trunk on the way down. The huntsman managed to safety land on the tree trunk while the frond fell to the ground.
That spider was way bigger than my hand and demonically fast. Was super cool to see such a big one.
It’s nice that they are generally chill around people. I had a much smaller one living in my room’s air conditioning unit. It always came out at night and chilled on the wall while I slept and disappeared during the day.
I never handled a huntsman but I was never really bothered by them during my time in Australia.
Depends
… welp, I don’t need to use the toilet any more. Task failed successfully!
I didn’t click the link, but your comment did the job.
Huntsman venom is paralytic and wouldn’t kill you if bitten. The giant huntsman reportedly will just make you nauseous and leave a painful and swollen bite.