Important to note: I have OCD, and I seem to have this obsession with the idea of me being transphobic. I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I have known this for years, and I try my best to support everyone. I have a lot of trans friends, I love them a lot, and treat them and see them as I would anyone else.

So, I feel like I’m transphobic. Is there any evidence of this? No. I’ve been a vocal supporter about LGBTQ+ rights for years (online), including trans rights, but I’ve recently become increasingly anxious at the thought of me being transphobic.

This likely stems from my questioning of my own gender, often times I feel that I am not quite male, maybe that I’m nonbinary or genderfluid. I mentioned this to my nonbinary friend, and they said “you don’t seem nonbinary”. This sent me spiraling, questioning my own gender and identity, and questioning if I was transphobic for believing that I was nonbinary (or possibly genderfluid, as at times I feel very comfortable being male, but at others I feel a lot more feminine).

At some point, I have to accept the fact that this is delusion, but I still really feel like I need guidance/assurance. I do not really know what to do about this.

(ANOTHER WORRY I HAVE is acting so paranoid and making it seem like I think trans people are going to cancel me and ruin my life if I say anything wrong, like a lot of transphobic people claim and act like. This is NOT AT ALL my intention, but I know I probably come off that way.)

  • Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    3·
    7 days ago

    If you examine the claim “you don’t seem nonbinary”, it falls apart so quickly. What does a nonbinary person seem like? It’s not some a static third gender, it’s a broad term that includes a lot of folks who present very differently to one another. It’s really a very silly thing to say.

    Trans imposter syndrome is real and it affects so many of us. There’s a book that helped me a lot called “Am I Trans Enough?” by Alo Johnston. Basically echoing the others that you’re the only person who gets to decide who you are. This book helped me sit with the questions about my gender identity and really feel my way through them.

    You’re feeling the way a lot of us have at some point in our lives. You’re not alone in these feelings I promise. Good luck on your journey.