Two hours ago I made a post to !libertyhub@lemmy.blahaj.zone about US politics. I had previously had a good relationship with the head moderator of this community. They’ve encouraged My political posts, and he’s removed comments by people that misgendered Me, and reminded people of My pronouns, like in this thread two days ago:
However, an hour ago in this new thread, the same moderator who was telling people to respect My capitalised pronouns uses lowercase pronouns to address Me:
And he has left up earlier comments which also seemed to misgender Me, and which I specifically pointed out:
Even as some users in the thread gender Me correctly:
I’m making this thread in the main community because since the mod has banned Me, I can no longer report the comment or leave a reply correcting the pronoun. I would like to gain the attention of @ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Misgendering trans people and banning Them at the same time so They can’t do anything about it is not the kind of thing I expect to see on Blahaj. This mod is clearly 100% aware of My pronouns, and made a choice here. I suppose they could be using the general “you”, but it just doesn’t look like that, what with banning Me, telling Me My post isn’t welcome, and telling Me to go to a different community. I used to have a good rapport with this mod, they said several times that they valued My posts. I posted something he disagrees with, and now all of a sudden respecting trans people’s pronouns isn’t a priority anymore. He’s misgendering Me and they’re leaving up comments that also misgender Me. It feels targeted.
EDIT: I cannot seem to embed images. Every time I hit edit and fix the image links and press save, they change to some kind of aussie.zone image proxy link. For now I have left them as links without embedding them.
Well, this is some terminally online bullshit if I’ve ever seen some.
Listen. I understand that we all want to be inclusive and I completely support this. I use this instance for a reason. But at some point, we have to draw some sort of line in the sand in cases like this. If you look at OP’s history, you’ll see that this is not a moderation problem, this is an attention seeker problem.
I’ve said it before in a comment that the moderation removed two days ago. Actually, it was removed for misgendering OP, I believe (didn’t capitalize the pronouns), BY THE PERSON OP IS CALLING OUT HERE, too! So accusations of transphobia against that person are ridiculous, but anyway, I’m going to repeat it here: This isn’t the first time I see this user post something, and I can’t help but notice a pattern of aggressively dictating the way people should act. Not only this, but OP’s already tried to pull something similar on Beehaw.
This has been on my mind ever since I first read the initial post a while back and I’m finally going to spill it. OPis literally the only person I’ve ever seen use “capitalized pronouns”. And I mean, on it’s own, that’s not a problem. Lots of people have their own special pronouns, whatever. No, what I question here, is the motive. Because here is the thing: OP identifies as a god. This isn’t coming from me, this is quoting from Grail’s Medium profile. “Nonbinary Goddess” and there isn’t even more details in this post. And I mean, yeah, that carries a ton of baggage, no wonder people had a problem with these pronouns.
Can we stop pretending that people are being transphobic because they question the fact that someone is self-identifying as a god, please? Let’s all be honest with ourselves here: Being inclusive is not the same as enabling entitlement. And making accusations of transphobia for something like this is quite frankly disgusting.
Some of you need to log off, because transphobia is real thing. You can’t just throw around this term like that. A few days ago, I was at a memorial surrounded by fellow trans people, grieving actual victims of transphobia, people who died for simply being who they are. Some of us are dying, some of us are being kicked off from their family, some of are being actually discriminated against, some of us are being harassed. This is what transphobia looks it. I’m sorry for being dramatic here, but come on!
If it can be explained by: “I’m was more focused on making my point and forgot to capitalize the pronouns”, then I’m sorry, I refuse to call that “transphobia”.
I’ve never heard of using capitalized pronouns, would You mind sharing a bit more about why You use them?
No pressure at all, You obviously don’t have to explain or justify Yourself or Your identity to me or anyone, but I’ve done a bit of googling and the only references I can find are to deities and i genuinely would love to know more
Four years ago, I realised I was goddessgender, and My goddess-mother suggested I try out capitalised pronouns. They felt right, so I kept using them. The inspiration for Me to try out the pronouns came from My divinegender identity, but I don’t think of the two as equal. I think the statement “Gods are referred to with They/Them” is about as true as the statement “women are referred to with she/her”. I have met women who use he/him, men who use she/her, and enbies who use everything. But if your friend is coming out as transfeminine, it’s a good idea to suggest she/her, right? I think it’s the same with Me. My pronouns and My gender identity are not the same thing, they just happen to align, as most people’s pronouns and gender do. I hope that people can respect My pronouns without having to believe everything I believe about My gender. I think the reason we use someone’s preferred pronouns can just be “They like it”, and it doesn’t have to entail any kind of acceptance of a belief system. Likewise, I would immediately respect the preferred pronouns of any two-spirit or Bissu I met, despite not being a member of either religious system.
I wrote a couple of articles on the subject more broadly: https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/introduction-to-capitalised-pronouns-f5140e722b48, https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/on-spiritual-genders-b4152c4503cb
On My Discord server, The Outside, capitalised pronouns are the default for everyone and everything. We use the change to our language to provoke a change in thinking. It fills the air up with magic, which is very useful because it’s an occultist server. And it has the handy benefit of getting everyone used to capitalised pronouns without starting a fight. The rate of transphobia in the server is much lower than other queer spaces I’ve been.
You have made comments 4 months ago using lower case pronouns, care to explain?
Do you care to not question trans people about Their pronoun usage like you’re fucking Sherlock Holmes? “care to explain” tf does that mean? Have They sufficiently explained the daily struggles of being trans to you or do you need a DNA and fingerprint test?
I gotcha Fam for those embedded pics
In order:
I’d assume that the mod in question (being a mod) sees a ton of posts and comments from a ton of users and simply didn’t check Your profile before making the comment there.
Or hell it could have been their autocorrect dropping the capital (which mine does pretty often)
But from what I can see it’s also a single comment. Don’t assume malice when ignorance can easily explain it.
And that mod is really quick to ban people, hell they banned me last week less than a minute after I made a comment on one of their posts simply for saying that dems and the GQP weren’t the same (their post was implying that they were the same). The reason they banned me was for being a “liberal”.
Personally I’d recommend a solution to help weed out transphobia vs ignorance: put Your‡ pronouns at the end of your username so that it’s easy for people to know and talk to you how you’d like. This is fairly easy to do on Lemmy as flairs at the end of usernames don’t really exist around these parts.
‡ I literally had to go back and manually change this to a capital Y after my autocorrect changed it.
Edit: Missed some caps.
Weird, I can’t see the embeds in your comment either. Maybe aussie.zone just doesn’t support them. It doesn’t support a very long display name either, maybe I should change instances.
I’ve been posting to Liberty Hub every day for around a week, and this mod has been responding to a lot of My posts. They seemed to have a firm grasp of who I was every other time they commented on one of My posts. And the post they commented on here, it was a link to My blog, so if they read it, they should know who I am, right?
Here are some of their other comments on My posts:
https://imgur.com/8cWH9WY.png - https://aussie.zone/post/11567153/10314640
https://imgur.com/s2gYmSM.png - https://aussie.zone/post/11497681/10240630
He’s never not known who I was before, he’s always used My preferred pronouns. If this is a coincidence, it’s a bizarre one, and it’s one I can’t fix without making this post, because the day he suddenly misgenders Me is the day he bans Me.
I wouldn’t call it a bizarre coincidence at all. Typos happen literally all the time to everyone.
A single error doesn’t make a trend, a pattern of errors does.
And again that mod shoots from the hip on bans. I’d say seize the opportunity to take some time off and cool off.
Getting banned from a community can really make someone salty at the moment it happens and taking the opportunity to chill is the best course of action for one’s mental health.
Even if it was a mistake, maybe Blahaj shouldn’t have mods who shoot from the hip and end up banning trans people they accidentally misgendered. Maybe the position of moderator should entail some more responsibility to trans users. If it was a mistake, it was preventable.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason that he missed the capital in that comment is because he copied it from another comment he made or because writing that response has become so automated for him that he didn’t think about changing pronoun. It’s not an excuse but it’s more likely than it being intentional misgendering.
That community gets overrun by people saying to vote for Biden or defending Biden’s actions so it’s a lot of work to remove all those comments (there’s a lot of space on blahaj to voice those opinions and in my experience not much space to voice critique outside of libertyhub so I’m in favour of banning those comments there in order to elevate opinions that get suppressed elsewhere). It means that mistakes are easily made, and to make it themselves easier the mods there probably ban people for comments that they consider to be in a grey area because it reduces the workload.
If being the only anti-biden community on Lemmy means misgendering trans people then maybe there shouldn’t be an anti-Biden community. If somebody is going to host a community like that, it should be someone who can do so without transphobia.
That’s not what I wrote though.
