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this is assinine. It also proudly displays the “everything is everyone else’s fault” mentality which is deeply, profoundly toxic.
People with good mental health dont kbsess over the past.
The way that you’re treated by your family today is (usually) the same way you were always treated by them. People with good mental health grieve this loss and then move forward. Grief work takes a lot of time.
I concur
How do you agree? Grief work involves as you call it “obsessing over the past”.
Fucking lol
It’s a scapegoat aka the identified patient aka the truth teller. The family is highly dysfunctional and instead of addressing the actual problem, they attack the person in the family who talks about the problem (truth teller)… making them the problem instead. Projection. Booyah. The only way to win is to distance yourself from them. They’ll see the light when pigs fly.
This is me exactly. I just finished typing a comment as to why I was black sheeped in my family.
One thousand percent it was because I was and always will be, a truth teller.
It terrified my shit bag family.
Shout-out to all the black sheep from conservative families. I’m a black sheep for not being anti vaccines, LGBT and Palestine.
Yeah that’s my situation. I’d try to avoid political discourse and just pretend to ignore their views, but over time it gets harder and harder to ignore. I had to just cut them all off eventually.
Well, my dad was the black sheep such that his mom thought he was possessed and needed an exorcism, but even after she came around he still had that same classification among my aunts and uncles. Now, long after my grandma has died, he’s still the odd one but the siblings are all very fond of each other. Not sure if grandma’s Catholicism started it all, or his undiagnosed ADHD, or just generally being the oldest and quite rebellious in a large household, but it’s all love these days.
If you had a parent with Narcissistic personality disorder then this can be totally true and I agree, but if not then you can’t be sure
sorry but some people are just assholes. i can’t blame the parents when only one of the bunch of their kids just can’t get along with anyone. I’m not saying it’s their nature; but “nurture” isn’t always just the family.
Well, depends, some people are just shitty. My uncle repeatedly steals from the family. First time, he charged my mom for a wardrobe that he never made (he’s a carpenter); last time, he stole my dad’s identity to buy a car. I’ve never heard anyone refer to him as “the black sheep” and it wasn’t until the identity theft incident that he was cut off from the family, though.
My older sister wasn’t the black sheep until she dropped out of high school and got addicted to crack.
Now she’s a MAGA head and her youngest daughter hates her and her oldest has already disowned her mom and has a great life with two awesome kids.
The rest of my family is fine and gets along well.
Sometimes they’re just black sheep
I’m 100% sure that my black sheep family member was just born an asshole, and talk radio told him for decades that it’s OK to be a racist asshole, so he leveled up to that quickly. His bad decisions as an adult were his alone based on greed and short-sighted “I’ll get away with it!” racist-privileged assumptions.
Everyone else in the family is mostly relatively fine, and no one would have gone out of their way to traumatize child 4 of 5.
This. Black sheep at age 10: yeah, I gues smistakes were made by the family.
Black sheep at age 50: That guy had 30 adult years to go to therapy and get his act together. At a certain point one can’t blame their messed up childhood anymore.
Turns into a generational thing as well: “I only messed up raising you because my dad messed up raising me and his dad messed up raising him”. Nobody takes the responsibility to fix anything and instead just blames everyone before them.
Exactly. The black sheep is simply someone that doesn’t fit in, for whatever reason.
Sometimes they are the one nice person in an asshole family, like OP implied, but equally they could be the one asshole in a nice family.
“Black Sheep” says nothing about the individual identified as the sheep. The only constants in the situation are that the large group, the family, will always think they are in the right and there is something wrong with the sheep, while the sheep will always think he or she is in the right and there is something wrong with the family.
Who is really in the right will vary.
Or your uncle that stole your car yo sell it for meth.
Yeah. Apologize to your uncle for traumatizing them.
Eh. In my case it was because I didn’t wear the right clothes and colors that fit into what they deemed the perfect Christian son. Like literally going to church multiple times a week, super involved in church fundraisers and such, but because I liked wearing black I got shunned. Stupid shit. Opened my eyes early on to how these religious groups will pick anything to hate someone.
This post gives Reddit vibes where everything is black and white and the contrarian is always right
I’m sure there are families where this exists so cleanly, but the truth for most families is probably in the middle
When I hear “Black sheep of the family” I think about the absolute banger released in 1983 by John Anderson.
How about Martin Sexton? Youtube - Martin Sexton - Black Sheep
Or it could mean the one who doesn’t like fishing
Ehhh i wouldnt say you could say for sure. I know some black sheep that very much deserve it.
I’ll elaborate on that some black sheep have larger undiagnosed issues due to historical not knowing better. I have a large extended family with a tonne of undiagnosed ADD. the black sheep uncle has said ADD coupled with substance abuse/addiction issues. When you take that with the prevailing society 40 years ago you can guess which way it went. Fast forward his son also has substance abuse/addiction issues and diagnosed bipolar along with undiagnosed ADD. I personally have diagnosed ADD and undiagnosed mania.
Point being, many black sheep are probably just a victim of the times and a lack of understanding.
Yeah but I’ve never seen a scientific study that demonstrates which version is more common, not to mention that you’re ignoring implications of cause and effect.
