When I was a kid, my mom either bought or was gifted a little plush snowman that would say “Happy holidays! Happy holidays!” When you squeezed it. It would maybe get squeezed a few times in December and then put in a bin until the following year. No one ever changed the batteries and it still worked each year for many years. Then it started to run out of juice. And slowly over each year it would sound more and more demonic, but it always played at least once before running out of power. It’s now been more than 25 years and we still check it each year to see if the demonic snowman is still alive. I’m not sure it will ever die if it was never alive in the first place…

That’s a whole green olive… But still.

And that’s why, as a Midwesterner, I proudly put black olives on my tacos. And it’s tastes pretty damn great!

I’m actually surprised that this isn’t how it works at Trump rallies considering he is a former president. When I went to see Obama at the Lincoln National Cemetery, they had everyone arrive in a different location and then had them go through security before getting on busses to the real location where his speech would be. I’m assuming that’s what is happening for Kamala’s rallies as she is the current VP. But it also just makes sense from a security standpoint of a former president? I’m also no expert and just speculating.

This.

I KNOW WHOOOO I WANT TO TAKE ME HOME

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying these memes. They remind me a lot of when shittymorph would get you with the undertaker bit. Except now I’ll be looking at cool science charts that are genuinely interesting only to find someone snuck in a sneaky Saddam.

90% of my job is making finalist presentations for our sales department. The amount of times I receive the power point they put together and half the text is bold… I always think of that scene from The Incredibles. When everything is in bold… nothing is.

JD Vance drinks milk after brushing his teeth pass it on

SOMEBODY GET ME A JUMP ROPE STAT!!!

JD Vance is a closeted childless cat lady pass it on

I’m surprised no one has mentioned the fake old movie that plays in Home Alone. “I’m gonna give you till the count of 10 to get your ugly yeller no good keester off my property before I pump your guts full of lead! One… Two… Ten!” 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Whoever has been posting these ancient memes on Lemmy lately is making me feel like a frickn’ historian. Just give me a coffin to lay in already!

LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOYYYYY JEEEEEEEENKEEEEENS

Can someone please teach whoever made this about the basics of graphic design? I can hardly read this ity-bity condensed as fuck text on top of a potato quality complicated background. Good God.

I could be wrong, but I think the original idea for the matrix was that they were using human brains for processing power and not energy. But someone in the movie making process decided people wouldn’t understand that and instead went with the battery analogy.

First sentence: wow I absolutely agree. It’s such a shame that mothers have to go back to work so soon after giving birth. We should work toward guaranteeing parental time off for all parents.

Second sentence: yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaah… Um… Nevermind.

This is an excellent meme format. You can replace the text with all kinds of stupid shit like “I know you drank orange juice with your chocolate cake”.

You ever drink Bailey’s from a shoe?

The only thing I can’t stand is people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures… And the Dutch!