You don’t go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday?

My Yahoo email address is 27 years old.

Pretty fucking good, actually. Which alarms me.

You see I’ve observed that my life seems to get better when the rest of society gets worse, and vice versa. Not because of anything I do, it’s just how my luck works. When the economy tanks, I’m financially secure; when the economy is running hot, I’m broke. My wellbeing seems inversely correlated to the wellbeing of society at large.

And I’m doing great. Better than ever, actually. Hence my alarm: according to the inverse wellbeing law, shit’s about to get real.

Start saving for old age now. It might seem like a long way off, and you might not have much money right now to begin with, but being young and poor is way better than being old and poor.

I sold gmail invitations on ebay.

I prefer Babylon 9: The Next Iteration.

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Realistically, that would get annoying pretty fast and I’d soon learn to hate any song I chose. So I’d pick 4′33″, which is four minutes and 33 seconds of silence.

But otherwise I’d pick “One Bad Tank”, from the video game Left4Dead2. It’s the song that plays when the boss enemy enters a particular map.

For some reason fungal mycelial networks and tardigrades were all the rage in pop sci and internet memes circa 2015. The writers just hopped on the bandwagon when they were deciding how their non-warp propulsion plot point would work.

Man it sure is crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide.

It’s pretty much as clean going into the pipe as it is coming out. Water pipes are kept pressurized so that any cracks or breaks push water out instead of letting contaminants in.

My mom’s early 90’s minivan. I think it was a Voyager.

Me over here in my Spaceballs shirt.

https://archive.org/download/OTRR_X_Minus_One_Singles

Who grades the test? Who judges the competition?

There are three things you need to remember as a starship captain: 1) keep your shirt tucked in; 2) go down with the ship; and 3) detailed knowledge of ornithology.

Yes

Replacement panel 4: “Surely, you can’t be serious?”

New panel 5: “I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley”

Gotta be Phantom of the Paradise. It’s a rock opera and spiritual successor to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The story is a mix of Faust, the Picture of Dorian Grey, and Phantom of the Opera, set at a nightclub called the Paradise.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uIHHx2GkFQ