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PvZ is STILL my mobile game of choice for long flights when I dont want to pay for internet.
Ugh, pop on a podcast and boot PvZ up, and I legit dont even realize literal hours have passed.
I highly recommend everyone watch Angry Video Game Nerd’s video about this game if you have the inclination and 15 minutes to spare. This video sent my sides into orbit.
And didn’t forget the original Gamespot review.
No other game has ever been so trashed in so few words.
The truth, Walker, is that you’re here because you wanted to feel like something you’re not: a hero.
I just got goosebumps… What an effective game.
Brass broiler from Conker‘s Bad Fur Day “Balls of brass, sir. Polished to the nth degree!”
My favourites from that :
“Stupid bastard hasn’t even got a neck” after the pitchfork is bullied to a suicide attempt and they’re still taking the piss while he’s hanging.
“Hey Barry, looks like one of them squirrels, let’s go kick the shit out of him” - dung beetles, unprompted.
It is payday.
Nothing is true, Everything is permitted.
It was my job to take care of you. We were supposed to take care of each other. And we did
Anything Glados from Portal 1/2–still one of very, very few games to actually make me laugh. But also the Cave Johnson “when life gives you lemons” rant comes to mind, because it’s both funny and poignant.
Favorite Glados ones:
- “We both said a lot of things that you’re going to regret.”
- “That thing you burned up isn’t important to me; it’s the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans… Nice job breaking it, hero.”
And Cave Johnson:
- “When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! Demand to see life’s manager!”
- “Science isn’t about why. It’s about why not.”
Had to look it up to refresh my memory:
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“Nice job breaking it, hero.”
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“You are not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don’t get up here.”
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“Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.”
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“Congratulations on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.”
You really need the full 2-minute audio of the lemons bit to get the gist. J.K. Simmons did an amazing job balancing funny and, “oh shit, am I…sad???..during the silly, funny puzzle game!?”
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Everything in Portal 2 is gold, but if you shout out both GladOs AND Cave, I feel like Wheatley deserves a mention as well.
“Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you’ve been under for… quite a lot longer, and it’s not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage. But don’t be alarmed, alright? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.”
Yes, I honestly can’t believe I didn’t mention him. It’s really a testament to what a fucking gem that game is. God. So much greatness packed into such a short time.
You might also enjoy The Stanley Parable, it’s a very similar kind of humor, I recommend going in blind, as the game is a lot about exploring watching a funny dialogue in a video removes the fun out of it being a reaction to something you did.
You spoony bard!
“The thing about happiness is that you only know you had it when it’s gone. I mean, you may think to yourself that you’re happy. But you don’t really believe it. You focus on the petty bullshit, or the next job, or whatever. It’s only looking back by comparison with what comes after that you really understand, that’s what happiness felt like.”
-Conrad Kellogg; Fallout 4.
I wish there had been a way for Kellog to be more than just “a guy you kill on the way to the institute”.
He deserved to be more fleshed out and used.
Kellogg should’ve been able to be a companion, with a rather high Charisma check or something.
“Well, This is the part where he kills us.”
“Hello. This is the part where I kill you.”
CHAPTER 9: THE PART WHERE HE KILLS YOU
Achievement Unlocked: The part where he kills you
<The part where he kills you music plays in backround>
Good god what an incredible sequence that was to play through for the first time. I was so busy laughing that it was, in fact, the part where he killed me.
i need to play portal 2 again
All your base are belong to us.
Someone set us up the bomb
!! WHAT YOU SAY !!
You have no chance to survive make your time.
Even better in the techno remix. duck://player/xZPTYpTKOI0
We get signal!
“Ouch! What do you do?”
-Goonies 2, NES
Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact… same fucking thing… over and over again expecting… shit to change… That. Is. Crazy.
Overblown character with little substance who you literally only see like 3 times in the campaign, dies midway through, and isn’t even the main villain.
Massively overhyped.
The cheerful sadism of the Australian guy who’s name escapes me was much better imo.
I WILL DRINK FROM YOUR SKULL!
GOOSE 3 DOWN!!
GOOSE 3 DOWN!!
