Someone in my street keeps harassing me and my family, and I lost my temper 2 days ago and whacked a bunch of things off a shelf. One of the heavier things ended up falling on my soup bowl and smashed a third of it. That specific soup bowl has been discontinued for many years. The manufacturer did make very similar soup bowls just with a different pattern on them, but they’re old and only being sold on places like Ebay. I’m going to take the bowl out of the trash tomorrow and measure it in detail and maybe post it on Facebook to see if anyone has this bowl. I feel like a whole bunch of nice memories have been literally smashed, like that bowl was with me for all that time and I smashed it by accident. That bowl was like a friend and reminded me of a time in my life where I was happy so just ordering some generic soup bowl that isn’t extremely similar or the same is going to remind me of what I’ve lost.
Sometimes i kiss inanimate objects before i put them in the donation box.
Thank them for fulfilling a need… And let them go. Their job is done. The task, complete.
I recently moved, and had to throw away a lot of stuff that I couldn’t reasonably take with me. I was fine for most of it, but got really sentimental over a plant. It was just a dumb plant that was barely clinging to life, but I had it the entire time I lived at my previous place. I set what was still good next to the dumpster, because other residents tend to want to snag free stuff. But it was bitter cold and I knew the plant would be fully frozen by the morning. Throwing that scrappy half-dead plant out felt like sentencing a friend to death. I literally said goodbye to it at the dumpster, and thanked it for the time we spent together.
Ya. Material items hold memories and it can feel like losing someone close to you when that item is lost as well. My uncle gave me my grandfathers class ring after he passed and I carry it with me to every sports game I go to.
I like how everyone’s glossing over the last part where the boyfriend is 60% of her age.
Did you read a different post? Where is the boyfriend’s age mentioned?
Yeah, it looks like they misread what the “17” and “30” in the OP title were referring to.
The title is badly written, I think op was saying the boyfriend is no longer alive.
I think you misread
(her boyfriend is no longer alive)
Very odd to casually mention she murdered her boyfriend of 14 years in the title and then make the post about breaking a bowl.
Upset is an understatement.
Yeah I figured it out, it’s written strangely.
Sorry for the way I worded the title. I’d taken an Ambien shortly before I made this post.
You’ve done nothing wrong, it was on me to understand. I just didn’t the first time. 🤷
We were both 19 when he died in an accident. So this bowl reminds me of happier times before things went South and this bowl has been through a lot of stuff with me since then too. It’s a relic of my teenage years which were the best years of my life. My adult years have yet to be better.
If I were you I’d see if anyone can fix it, even if that meant the bowl would be decoration only after.
That’s super normal. It’s important to remember objects don’t have any importance behind what we assign to them. If you still value that relationship maybe you can find a way to preserve it physically like the other commenters have suggested or it may be time to acknowledge that portion of your life is over and this can be symbolic closure. I have a beautiful handmade quilt from an ex-girlfriend and I haven’t seen her in almost a decade yet I keep it because the meaning behind it at the time is still important to me
An important thing to remember in these situations: “you cannot control your emotions, but you can control your reaction to them and allow that to shape you in the future”
“you cannot control your emotions, but you can control your reaction to them and allow that to shape you in the future”
❤️
If you can find all the pieces, have you heard of kintsugi?
If not, it’s a Japanese art of repairing broken ceramics with gold, creating something new and beautiful out of the destruction as the cracks become gold veins running through the piece.
Maybe you could find a craftsman or at least experienced hobbyist in your area who could repair it like that?
Just got what seems like most or all the pieces out of the trash. Nearly all of the part of the plate I put food in is intact so it looks like a very fat crescent moon shape. I have not heard of kintsugi but if there’s any people doing it in my area I’ll give it a go so thanks!
You can buy a kit online and do it at home with a guide or video.
Why do you care about people doing it in your area? :D
I don’t know, but I’d be too. I am even with regular items, honestly, and even with less damages. Like a single small scratch on otherwise pristine surface.
Completely normal. Also a good opportunity to practice the art of letting go.
I don’t know if this is something available where you live, but Replacements, Ltd. may be able to help you. That’s basically why they exist.
Says out of stock but I clicked “find this for me” so fingers crossed I’ll get an email from them if they find it
Yes it’s normal We offen have memory’s link to objects. Loseing a object does not mean you weaken the memory, you can do actions linked to the memory or create the same link with New a object like painting the new bowl with that memory in mind like colors or places. Painting good or bad doesn’t matter as long you like. You can also create new memories build on old ones and continue what is important to you.
absolutely reasonable, and may be a good excuse to learn kintsugi, if you still have the pieces.
Update: The bowl is fixed! It’s not perfect, some pieces were very slightly out of alignment but it’s intact again and I filled in a little gap too. Feel so relieved! Was surprised with how hot the adhesive got in the little tub as it set and now leaving the bowl 2 days for it to fully cure before using it
amazing! i’d love to see a picture if you’ve got one!
I have the pieces and I put the pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle. There’s 6 pieces total, and the bowl looks like a very fat crescent moon shape broken. Like a circle with a circular chip in it.
I love that idea, it would be good to practice on some not important broken bowls first (a good time to therapeutically break stuff if you need some to practice 😜), and the whole process can help mend broken pieces of oneself while creating a prettier bowl that includes the old loved pieces.
I totally understand. It’s hard to lose something that means more than it’s retail value.
I don’t think replacing it would help, even if it’s identical, it’s not really YOUR soup bowl. The search will just waste more time and energy obsessing over the soup bowl. Maybe keep a chunk of the broken bowl and put it away in a keepsake box. Next time you go digging for memories, it’ll still have a positive effect.
Absolutely normal and I completely understand. I’ve gone through the same thing many times with sentimental objects. My spouse on the other hand lost everything they had as a child twice in house fires and carries very little sentimentality over objects as a result. As others suggested I was going to suggest kitsungi. There is a website out there that specializes in replacing matching things like dishes and glasses that are missing from specific sets. I’m sorry I can’t think of the name of the site. I heard about it on a podcast with Johnny Pemberton.
I’ll do this. Thanks to everyone who mentioned this!
Of course it is. Don’t even second guess yourself. You’re having those feelings either way, you don’t need validation from out here. Grieve your bowl for the lost memories. But they won’t really be lost
yes
